You see the day she died, I died with her.

Walking to the front of the building my black leather boots scrape the sidewalk. I can see my reflection in the transparent crystal glass. Grasping the smooth metal handles, with my rough calloused hands, so many thoughts race through my mind. Drops of sweat build up on my head. What will they think? What will they say? I’m not the same girl I used to be. Today is the day. The day I show everyone the new me.

Breathing in the familiar scent, I swing open the doors. The first few steps I take feel heavier than they should, and my shoes make a not so subtle squeak every time they hit the ground. As I walk through these halls, I can’t help but notice that feelings and emotions keep rising up inside me, ones that I spend so long burying. These halls reek of memories, joyful ones that bring painful reminders.

Right down the middle of the hallway, I walk boldly

towards my locker. Uncharacteristically ,I make sure

and allow everyone to get a good look at me. I remind

myself that the first day is always the hardest. My ears

tingle as I hear subtle whispers of “Is that really her?” I

drowned out the familiar blur of faces, the pugnant

smell of curiosity , and all the glaring eyes. Staring

straight ahead I remind myself to breathe, just breathe.

That’s all I can concentrate on to keep from crying. Just

breathe. Each step I take is a little closer to the door,

to my seat, to freedom. Once class starts I can escape

the questioning eyes and the familiar faces. But then I

remember , what am I thinking? I’ll never escape those

faces , because every time I look at them I see her. I try

not to look into their cold staring glances, which seem

to be in a trance locked on me. But I shove those

thoughts away. In my BLACK leather jacket, and my

BLACK beanie, I slouch down.

Most people would picture me in elegant cream

lace with pink ribbons in my hair. But that all changed

this summer. BLACK became my color. Why do I like

BLACK you ask? Because for me, it symbolizes the

absence of hope. Hope is a figment of the imagination.

Life is too cruel and destructive for there to

something as hope.

My thoughts are interrupted of the high screech of the bell that leaves a ringing in my ears. Scurrying out of the classroom, I hear my name above the shuffling of hundreds of anxious feet. “Malaysia!, I see someone out of the corner of my eye. “ I almost didn’t recognize you, “ she pants.” I just wanted to say I am sorry for your loss.” My eyes open wider and I feel my blood turn hot. Every muscle in my body stiffens and I stand motionless. “ Malaysia?” I hear faintly through the swarming of noise in my head. I run as fast as I can. I don’t know where I am going or why. But I all I can do is run, and all I can think is to myself is breathe. Just breathe. Slowing my pace, I take a deep breath. Looking around, I crouch into a corner with hopes of disappearing. Slowly, I shut my eyelids, and all I see is BLACK.

“Anzel? “I say.” Ya” I dare you to jump from up there, “ I imply gesturing above me.” Wow Malaysia, that’s kinda high, “ she stammers looking terribly frightened. “ Come on! Do it!” “Oh-Ok”, She whimpers. I watch her scrawny legs and arms move swiftly up the ladder. She stands at the top, her bony knees shaking. “Jump!”, I scream. She flies off the top of the deck, and plummets face first into the water. “Whooo Anzel!!!” , “ I shout cheering her victory. Then I realize, that she isn’t moving. She is just floating there with no motion. “C-come on Anzel…stop playing!” I yell louder running towards her. Dragging her cold wet body out of the water, I turn her over to reveal a giant gaping wound, that is crimson red. Unfixable. Looking into her deep crystal blue eyes, I see ultimate and complete fear. Opening my eyes I suddenly remember it’s just a dream, but I have relived that night every time I close my eyes since it happened. I look around and feel the darkness creeping in like a shadow following me, wherever I go. The BLACK shadow is inescapable and hope only exists in fairytales. Once someone you truly love dies, you die with them.