Happiness, to me, is laughing till my stomach hurts and getting into bed after a long and tiring day at school. Happiness, to me, is driving to Baskin Robbins, and eating a double scoop of vanilla and chocolate with hot fudge and multi coloured sprinkles. Happiness is watching an old Bollywood film and being able to sing all the lyrics and dance all the dances.

The new year means new goals and new hopes. Our visions for our future life are all very different besides one common factor-we all want to be happy. Our goals all revolve around trying to find this ” happiness” -this abstract feeling one cant describe, articulate or express. We know what happiness feels and we know when we feel happy but what is it, and moreover, how do we get it?!

This New Years I was staying in one of the best hotels and was watching, from my balcony, the best view of the World’s Greatest Fireworks. 80,000 shells were fired per minute; the dark night sky turned a fiery, beautiful array of red, green, and golden. The music pounded from Zeta- the open night lounge- and the rings of laughter and champagne bottles could be heard from all around us. I was happy.

However, soon enough, my brother and sister got into a fight-as per usual. Actually it wasn’t a fight, it was anger and hatred. They say smile’s are contagious but in my opinion- nothing goes around faster than dissatisfaction. 30 minutes after witnessing one of the most beautiful moments of our lives, we were back dwelling in our frustration, hatred, spite, jealousy and anger.

That moment when I looked across the room of our glittering hotel was the defining moment when I realized that happiness is a state of mind. It doesn’t matter whether you’re in one of the best places in the world, with riches and luxuries and comforts all around you. If you choose to want happiness, you will find it. We are all capable of being happy; its something hidden inside ourselves, amongst all the dissatisfaction, that we must work to find. It’s a mental state of being grateful for what you have, for accepting that which you cannot control and for loving the life that you have been given.

Living in the Middle East, wealth is commonplace. Our lives seem unimaginable, torturous, horrific without the luxuries that we are so accustomed to. Most people, me included, would find it very hard to stay without their phone, or even a strong wifi connection. I visit Pakistan frequently. My dad has a home in Islamabad. As my dad is an only child, we don’t have any cousins in Islamabad-meaning, visits are normally extremely boring.

One day during our visit, I woke up to a very sour mood. I stomped around the house and answered every one with a shout; I was angry that I had been brought here as I had exams and I wasn’t revising nor was I having any fun. My enthusiastic parents offered to take me out to one of the near mountains for lunch. I stomped away. They then asked to go to the bakery so I could get some snacks/fresh air, but this time it was an order. They gave me 5000 rupees and told me to take our housemaid with us as a chaperone. My maid had lived with us ever since we bought the house and their children-who lived in a quarter in the house- had grown up with us. Mehwish was one year younger than my little sister-12- and Danish was about 9. They came along with us to the bakery.

Mehwish had her ever gleaming smile. In all the years I had known her, never had her smile once failed to make an appearance. It was there when she woke up and went to her one-room, government school and it stayed there until she fell asleep. Danish was the same-except his smile was more of a sneaky grin. A naughty chuckle. They got into the car and their excitement was buzzing all around us. As we got into the bakery, I got the array of things – cookies, cakes, pastries- my mom had asked to get for a tea party we were having. I asked Mehwish and Danish to help me pick out what they thought looked nice. They laughed seeing all the variety in the bakery.

Driving back in the car, I saw sights very common in Pakistan. Homeless beggars were scattered everywhere. Women, children and elderly people limped around in the Pakistani heat with old cloths wrapped around themselves. Many were amputees and most of them had been amputated on purpose- to gain sympathy and some money. They walked around with babies hanging on their hips whilst the younger children ran around, dodging cars, as they tried to earn themselves some money.

As we got home, Danish and Mehwish ran up to their servant quarters. They told me to come along with them. Mehwish pulled me by the hand to come with her up to their home. I entered the room. The room was the size of my bathroom back home. One room for four people. There was one charpai ( a bed made of straws) where their father slept, a broken matress where Mehwish and her mother slept and sheets by a counter top/kitchenette that was for Danish: ” The heat from the ovens keeps me warm at night” he said. Tears came into my eyes. I wanted to punch myself in the face. What was I unhappy about? Why was I spreading dissatisfaction and anger when there is no reason to be?
My mother had always taught us to look after the poor, to be grateful for what we have, to be happy. She used to quote my grandmother often. ” If you look at the sky whilst walking, your going to hit something. If you look at the ground, you’ll make it.” It means that if you’re grateful for what you have, and understand how lucky you are to have a life that you do compared to all those unprivileged, then you will live a happy life. If we keep pointing out all that we don’t have and lead a life of dissatisfaction, we will only hurt ourselves.

Danish and Mehwish were living proof, in my eyes, that happiness is a state of mind. Happiness isn’t a materialistic achievement; one that can be counted on by the amount of money one has or how privileged one is. To me, happiness is defined by the ability to overcome all the sadness, tragedy, anger, hate and dissatisfaction that is so prevalent in all of us and to have the courage to smile. It is the effort that one puts in to smile rather than cry. To love rather than hate. To try and live the short lives we have been blessed with in happiness, joy and laughter.

Life is hard. We all know that. The struggles that people go through I cannot even imagine. It’s not only poverty that one should define as hardship. Hardship is something personal and different for everyone. Therefore, I don’t want to say that we should just forget about these things and ” just be happy” because it isn’t as simple as that. But lets try because life is beautiful and we shouldn’t let it go by. Let’s remember the children of Syria, Palestine, Iraq and Pakistan who give themselves the courage to smile through all of their hardships and lets take inspiration from them.

This year, and for the rest of our lives, let’s train our souls and our minds to be happy.