Elsewhere This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

The squish squash of the water bloated floor pad was the only sound in the empty hall that I walked down. Water ran between my toes and softened my bare feet. A shadow from my foot followed me on the pad only to disappear as the pad returned to it’s swollen state.

When I reached the first set of air lock doors my heart flutter with excitement like it always did when I came here. My hand wrapped around the cold metal handle and my body strained to open the doors. Familiar pressure filled my ears; experienced with this problem I jutted out my lower jaw then forced it wide open and the pressure released with a small pop.

The squish squash of the water logged floor pad became more frequent as my childish excitement hit its pinnacle. Then I came upon the second set of doors, the spinning ones, and I placed myself inside one of the sections and smiled when I felt the damp metal underneath my hands. My body strained once more as it pushed on the metal and spun into elsewhere.

In Elsewhere, I was hit with the pleasantly suffocating smell that smothered any person that entered Elsewhere. My mind took solace in this wonderfully musty, humid smell and it gave me a sense of nostalgia.

I looked at the white that encased Elsewhere in bubble and smiled. My eyes had longed to see Elsewhere just as much as my nose longed to smell it. Even my ears listened gleefully to the blatant raucous of elsewhere. People around me loudly enjoyed the main attraction of Elsewhere, the Great Blues. They moved around through the Blues, upsetting it greatly. TheBlues swayed back and forth and crashed against each other in big waves. Such a clamorous noise was music to my ears.

Once I dove into the Great Blues I was surrounded by a cool softness that my body was accustomed to. I sunk to the very bottom of the Blues and emptied my lungs and once the last bubble floated to the surface I shot up from the bottom and broke free from the Blues to refill my lungs. That’s when I began to move. I chopped through the Blues in the way I was taught; my feet kicked, my arms stroke, and my heart smiled.

Elsewhere was the only place I could call my home and the Great Blues were the only thing I could call my bed.

Join the Discussion

This article has 14 comments. Post your own now!

Alycia. said...
Jan. 26, 2014 at 9:39 pm
Great job using description and vocab to create the atmosphere of the piece! I love it!
Carly_Elizabeth replied...
Jan. 27, 2014 at 6:32 pm
Thanks for reading!
live_luv_laugh_inspire said...
Jan. 17, 2014 at 4:57 pm
You used some good imagery here! You made me imagine swimming and what it must be like! That's something we start wishing we could do this time of year:)
Carly_Elizabeth replied...
Jan. 17, 2014 at 6:34 pm
Haha yeah totally. Thanks for reading!
TopHatCactus said...
Jan. 15, 2014 at 6:12 pm
I too got the feeling of science fiction, which in this specific piece was a good fit. I love how Elsewhere is the character's home, but the word seemed over used in the last two paraghraphs (also the Great Blues). Other wise it's a unique story.
Carly_Elizabeth replied...
Jan. 16, 2014 at 6:44 pm
I see what you mean haha. Thanks for reading!
Zoe D. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 12, 2014 at 10:45 pm
Nice! This is awesome! I'm a swimmer too, so I can totally relate
Never.Forget said...
Jan. 12, 2014 at 11:27 am
This is really good and does a great job showing your passion.   I love to swim too, but I don't get to do it too much. :-P
sunshine_dazeys said...
Jan. 12, 2014 at 10:42 am
I enjoyed the mystery of the piece-I didn't really know what it was about until the very end. If made me want to keep reading. My only criticisms would be to proofread more before you submit, and try not to use the same describing phrases more than once in a short piece. Other than that, it's a wonderful piece!
Carly_Elizabeth replied...
Jan. 12, 2014 at 9:08 pm
Thanks a bunch for reading and for the feedback!
RoyalCorona said...
Jan. 9, 2014 at 9:40 pm
I quite liked this and could tell that you have a passion for swimming! That's great! I found that you incorporated your life into your story quite well and it made me smile! Great job!
Carly_Elizabeth replied...
Jan. 10, 2014 at 8:29 pm
Thanks so much for reading!
Protoblues said...
Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:10 pm
That was a great piece! The writing style was reminiscent of science fiction, which I think enhanced the overall appeal of the piece. Also, the style made me look at the piece differently (with more acceptance and desire to read) than a straightforward style would have. All in all, it's a wonderful piece!
Carly_Elizabeth replied...
Jan. 8, 2014 at 8:15 pm
Thanks so much for reading! I'm glad you liked it. 
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