Family is a simple six letter word that is supposed to mean the world to the average American. Your family is supposed to be there through thick and thin, through the lows and the highs, and even through the best place in your life. Your family isn’t supposed to leave you to fend for yourself, or even come close to judging you for the mistakes you make in your life. Family is the backbone to your life’s structure, and the support needed to be beyond successful. According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, family is defined as “the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children,” but where’s that second parent?

In my opinion, parents get a choice of whether they want a part in their child’s life or not. No matter the circumstances, parents should never leave nor choose not to have a part in something that they’ve created. Some parents relinquish their responsibilities to be tackled by another individual and expect their child not to have hatred or a sense of dislike towards them. But it all simulates from that parent’s action. Furthermore, parents, especially fathers, are the first sign of the outside world for their child. Their experience from childhood up until young adulthood pierces a child’s mind and leaves a lasting impression. That then leads to irrational decision-making, a need to feel loved from any and every one, and could even induces resentment towards that parent.

How do I know? Well, I was that child! I was that child that grew up being the biggest daddy’s girl, having everything in the world, and just being happy! But just so suddenly, that all changed at the blink of eye. The happiness went away and being miserable became a new part of my life. I allowed myself to be depressed and hopeless and in a sense, cut off from the world. Yes I had the thoughts of “Was I not good enough for him?” Or “what did I do wrong for him to leave,” and sooner than later I started blaming myself for something he, meaning my father, had chosen to do. It took many people and a willingness to accept that his choices were something he would have to deal with on his own. Hypothetically speaking, his choices would soon start to affect me and my decision-making, but I didn’t have to let it become a part of my life. I rose above the occasion and is still, too this day, not letting this take over my life. I didn’t let this incident become a defining moment in my life, yet I’m choosing to be much stronger than that and keep on pushing through the heartache.

At the end of the day, I believe that rather than simply defining family by a dictionary definition, each individual should look to define a family by his/her own standards. Family, from my point of view, consist of anyone that can honestly say they want the best for me and can inspire me to do better than I already am. Ohana means family, and family means nobody left behind or forgotten!