I'd never really given much thought to how i looked. It didnt really bother me to be honest, and i had never had a problem with bullies either. That was UN-til i reached year 7, in my senior school. I wasn't fat nor was i very skinny. i was classed as average. Healthy. But you see the new image in my school was VERY skinny. If you weren't skinny, you weren't socially acceptable. It never really bothered me at first to be honest, i had a few friends who also felt the same way, so we wasn't really bothered. It never was how popular we were that mattered, it was basically about how comfortable we felt about ourselves. My friends, soon started to crave the attention the other 'skinny' girls got. They had endless amounts of friends and almost everyone loved them and wanted to be them. My friends soon started to wear more make-up, go on diets, pull their skirts up higher. They soon ditched me and went off with these other girls. At first it wasn't so bad being alone, but the friends who recently ditched me soon got poisoned by the new girls they were hanging around with. They turned against me. rumors were spread. The names i was getting called were honestly horrific. It ranged from petty things like 'fat' and ' minger' soon to very strong swear words and foul language. It was then it started hurting. I was alone. Scared. I had no body to talk to. I didn't want to talk to my parents. Even though they were the most supportive and selfless people. They would of helped me through anything. But you see the problem was i always kept my self to my self. I was the "suffer in silence" type you might say. I hated telling people about my problems.It made me feel attention grabbing and 'weak' that i couldn't look after myself. So i decided to keep the Bullying problems to myself. BAD IDEA! I only had myself. Trapped in my own mind. Then my own thoughts even turned against me. I started to bully myself inside my head. I'd wake up every morning look at myself in the mirror and think "who would ever be friends with you.?" " you're fat. Worthless. Nothing. You're nothing compared to them." I never bothered fighting back these thoughts. i let them control me. Un-hinge me. It got to quite an extent where i decided i needed to change. I needed to be skinny. Just to prove them wrong. Just to prove myself Wrong. These girls at school kept up with the verbal abuse daily. But it helped. In a strange way. IT helped. I began to starve myself. The girls mean abuse was my motivator. TO keep going. Within in a week i had lost a stone and a half. My parents began to notice. They began to worry, and fuss. I lied to them endlessly. Telling them i was fine. My weight was very un-healthy. By this time i had no body to talk to.I was more alone than ever. The emotional pain was building and building and building. I couldn't take it no more. I began to self harm. I had seen articles in magazines about girls self harming. I read it stopped the emotional pain. So i tried it. I never cut my wrists. I wasn't stupid. I cut my legs. Well, that's how it started. It soon spiraled out of control. At one point i had 400 separate cuts up my legs,things, arms, stomach, and my hands. I was a monster. It made me feel better. I was blinded by wanting to be 'socially acceptable.' It got to quite an extent where my mum noticed the cuts on my arms one night whil i was sleeping. She questioned me continuously. I lied. I claimed i got attacked by my friends cat. She found it very hard to believe but she soon gave up no asking. She trusted me too much. I hated lying, but i didn't want her to find out. NO WAY. I didn't want fuss, or people feeling sorry for me. I kept things to myself. Cutting soon became an addiction, and carried on for 2 years. At this point, i had given up caring on being 'skinny' and wanting to fit in. Things had gone past that now. It wasn't UN-till one afternoon, when i caught a glimpse of my whole body as i got out the shower. I looked horrible red scars etched everywhere.The words 'fat' etched in my stomach. It was then i realized how bad things were. I immediately quit self harm. I threw my razor away. I felt happy inside for the first time in years. It felt amazing. I soon began to eat, gaining all my weight back and i got ot a healthy size 8. I moved schools and met some incredible friends who supported me. Im year 10 now. I put it all behind me. I am now a healthy fun loving girl. I appreciate life, and have learned i am fine the way i am. I accepted myself. I then realized it wasn't me who was in control, it was the razor. I then vowed form that day on-wards to help others who are being bullied. No one deserves to go through what i did. And that is why i came to this website. I use my story as a motivator for others to stop bullying. Thank you for reading. I accept myself and learned to love myself just the way i am. And to me that's the biggest achievement anyone can have. I now promise to help ALL victims of bullying!!!