Fear holds us in place. Like a weight on out shoulders that no one can move. It’s something so scary and unwanted that I rather die than live with it. I’m not talking about people scared of clowns or spiders I’m talking about people that are scared to walk outside because of what people think, too scared to look at themselves in the mirror cause all they can see is scares or a biologic resemblance to their biologic parent that no one knows but hates. Or just being afraid of being left. That’s what I fear. I fear of being left cause everyone that I loved/ cared about is gone, or anyone who loved/cared about me left… Maybe it’s because I’m no stranger to losing people, but I’m still terrified I won’t have someone waiting with me when it’s my time to go. My biologic parents left/didn’t try to get me back when I was in foster care at 6th months old…. They were supposed to be there for me... Weren’t they? And why did my aunt, uncle, grandpa, and friends have to die/ kill themselves? Was my love not good enough to get them to stay? Or having people love you and then just throw you in the trash like you where nothing to them? So I’m sorry if you don’t understand my fear but I’m trying to move along… Without being left behind…. Over and over again.