Last summer I went to the Steubenville youth rally in Springfield, Missouri. It was my second time going to Steubenville. I did not have to think twice about going to back the second time, but going for the first time was a different story. I was on an uncontrollable roller coaster for the three days in which it took place. I experienced the highest of highs and lowest of lows.

It was mid-December and T Brown bugged me every single day about it. I had her question memorized from hearing it so much, “So Jake, are you going to Steubenville?” I always gave her the same response, “I’m still thinking about.” Soon it was the last day to sign up and again she asked me if I was going to attend. I gave her the answer I always answered with. She took me to the office and called my mom and told her to bring a check to school. So, there I was on a list to go to a place I knew nothing about and really had no interest in going. I disregarded the thought of going and did not worry about the trip.

Months pass, it was a warm summer day and we were only days from departing for the mysterious trip. I started having second thoughts. I told my mom that I was not going as I unpacked my bags. She made my repack my bag as I started to feel my heart beating hard from anxiety. It was hard to go to sleep, my mind was racing in all direction and I began to sweat. The next day the group met in the back parking lot at 4:30 a.m. I felt sick to my stomach as if it was going to explode. We all loaded the bus and almost immediately every one on the bus began to sleep, but not me. I was telling my mom to come pick me up, because I felt so sick. No one could imagine how much I did not want to be on that bus. I can honestly say it was the worse nine hours of my life.

To my amazement, I had survived the bus ride. The first thing I did after getting off the bus was running to my room and laying down. I just wanted to go to sleep and wake up at home. Unfortunately, when I woke up, I was still in my room. At this time, we all went to dinner; I saw all the food they had and my eyes grew huge! I could smell the cooked fish, I could hear the sizzling of the hamburgers, and see the steaming pasta. Everything was so good and cooked to perfection. I started to feel better and finally had some optimism for the weekend. Following the delicious meal, I began to wander around trying to find the arena on the huge campus. People were bumping into me while running toward the arena. I wondered why they were all running. I later found out that they wanted good seats. Once everybody was seated the evening session began. The band began to play and the other 4,000 kids began to sing along. I remember feeling really awkward because I did not know the words. When I went to sleep that night, all I could think about was going home.

The next morning I arose to a great breakfast of eggs and ham. Soon after, we made our way over to the arena for mass. In the afternoon, Sean Forest was our speaker. He started out by telling us about himself. He talked about all the things that had gone wrong in this life, including his wife having multiple miscarriages. His talk made me think of all things that I take for granted. Later that day, we enjoyed another tasty meal as I had a conversation with my mom. I told her I was glad that I came but little did I know that I was hours away from the best, most emotional, moving, and overwhelming night of my life.

The night started out in the arena where that band started playing songs that everyone knew such as “Don’t Stop Believing” and “Beat it.” I decided to sit to take a seat next to Kylie Guldenpfennig because she was really into the weekend. We were screaming out the lyrics to every song. Soon the place became very quiet. The bishop of the diocese proceeded down the center of the arena with the radiating monstrance raised above his head. The lead singer quietly spoke into the microphone, guiding us through adoration. The words that came out of his mouth forced me to ponder life deeper than I ever had before. I can’t describe how I felt in that moment. I had constant chills running through my body. I felt warm tears run down my face and I didn’t know why. I began to think of all the things I have done wrong, all the people I have hurt, and how ungrateful I am. In that moment, I realized that I need to more of Christ in my life. Also, this is the moment I realized that I was meant to be here. This is why T Brown nagged me every day. This is why my mom told me I had to go. They had something greater in mind for me. It was amazing because you could see that thousands of other people were sharing the same experience with you. I was glad that I reached a deeper level of faith that I never had before.

We left Springfield on Sunday afternoon. When we got back to the parking lot early in the morning. I found T Brown and thanked her. I told her that I would have experienced any of this without her. I got home and gave my mom a hug. I remained awake and filled her in on every detail about the exciting weekend. I went into the trip not wanting to go and left never wanting to leave.