Sometimes I stop and ask myself “Should I do anything?” What is there left to do? Compliments have faded away from me now, a life of loss and confusion sums it up I guess. Sometimes I wonder if people expect more from me, I can see their negative thoughts even now. We are poorly shaped vessels carrying thoughts from one place to another.

Sand castle, daydream, black sand on the beach, please take me home, I’m tired of everybody. People with fake opinions, fake smiles, fake lives, fake ambitions, all going nowhere. I need to leave. I need the winter to come find me. Winter on another planet maybe? I don’t know, I just think of the parallel lines slowly receding in the window of the broken man. Red dot green dot. I don’t care and neither should you, we are not even ourselves. Ourselves means nothing. I desperately want the winter to come find me. I want to stand outside and piss in the snow with a cigarette between my lips and scream at the sun like I was losing my sense of self. I want to create a water park with my mind and watch it rise from the asphalt. I want to see a suspicious looking man walk into the water park suddenly, obviously very depressed and confused, wearing inappropriate clothing for the summer time. He sees a child and has an evil thought. Do you even care?

Life is a sequence of events that leads to death. You’ve thought about it but have you analyzed it?

I don’t know why I even try anymore. Kindness is suppressed by the brutality of the legal system. We may never reach Mars.