You only notice it when it leaves. A person that I never knew I would miss so much. I got the message today. Only today did I come to that sad realization that I would probably never see the person again. Tears were in my eyes, but I didn't let them spill. I wish I did though, looking back. I wish that I had let them spill to show my true feelings about the persons departure. Why did the person have to leave? Couldn't they have waited just one more year? One more year, and I would have been gone. I would have been gone, and the next year would have to deal with the stabbing pain that I am feeling in my core at this very moment. I thought that this year would be perfect. The perfect match for my needs. Now it is gone. My years ahead of me could be ruined because of just one rule change. Just because of that person leaving, it could change my future. I had never noticed it until now. I had never noticed why this person had been the missing puzzle piece in my career. You can never really notice it until its gone. Just out of your grasp. Just a step farther than your power to change it. No matter how deeply you yearn for something, it can never change.
You only notice it when it leaves. Gone.