There are many kids in this world that have very good lives and, there are kids that don’t. I’m one of those kids that his ups and downs, and sometimes I get at points where I don’t know how to handle myself. There were points in my life where I would break down and would not know where to run to. I know there are many people I can go to and talk about my issues, but it is my soul and my pride, that I never told anyone my complete story.

I have asked many people this very question “Am I meant to be here, do I have a purpose, was I a gift and bound to do something with my life?” They all say yes I am, Tyler you are meant to be here. Whenever somebody tells me that I am jumping for joy. People just don’t understand me, People don’t understand my life. I wish I was more open, I wish I could tell people what I have been through in my life, but it’s the fear of trust. I have told the closest people to me in my life, but still I don’t know if I can tell them the entire story. There is more to it than the people I told think. I guess I just wish people would look under my act and just see that I am not so bad after all, I am not that bad ass that everyone around sees me as. There has been so many people that have picked on me because of what I go through, I explode I used to go nuts; the old me would pound their face in. I’m not going to lie at times I wish I could pound their face in, but I know I’m stronger than that.

Through all the hard times in my life, everything that I went through led me to who I am today. Of course, I still get in those funks for a while, but I always get out of them. Depending on the situation I might just talk about it or hold it in until the bomb goes off in my head. If you knew the old me I was just a bomb without the tick, no second guessing anything I would just explode. I evolve and matured every year into a better version of the real me and so far this year I have been doing good with my anger. I haven’t really showed my anger though this year because of me holding it all in.

My life is more complicated than many people think; honestly I’m so lucky to end up in my hometown of Stephentown, New York. I thank my real mom, but I also despise her for the actions she has made towards my family. But without all those actions I wouldn’t have ended up with her living a horrible life poor and hungry. When I walk the roads of Stephentown I feel something special and it’s sad to say that someday I might leave this place, but I don’t plan on it. This year is when I finally realized what I want. After dealing with my drug addicted mother, my messed up friends, going through my depression stage, and getting sent to a detention center all those things helped me to decide what I really want. I want to stay here in Stephentown, marry my beautiful girlfriend, hopefully have a couple kids, and live a happy life. I don’t think I could ever leave this place and not miss it, I have had so many awesome memories here so when I leave to go to college; it’s going to be hard going to a different school, and I actually learned to love our school Berlin. It’s like home to me now. Sometimes it gets rough, but I need to push through and get it over with. That’s where I get my dedication like a strength of a bear, no matter what I go through I will always get through it and no matter what I say I will never give up, it’s never worth it.

There are so many things I wonder about myself. One of those things I wonder is if I really do have a soul and what is it trying to tell me. I go through life wondering am I making the right decision. Will it make me happy? In my thoughts I say of course I do, in my heart I say of course, and in my head I say of course. Now whoever is reading this right now is wondering what I went through that was so dramatic and hard, I guess I should let you know now.

My grandfather who adopted me John Purdy was once married to my grandmother Gail Maxwell. They had my uncle Josh and my real mother Tonya. They were young kids at the time and I don’t know the real story but my grandfather left Gail for a beautiful woman named Lisa Demick. Soon they got married and had my other uncle Tyler. When Tyler was seven, Josh was 15, and Tonya was 16 she was pregnant with her first child. It was me, of course like any other parent John went crazy on her. Tonya never made good choices when she was pregnant with me she smoked pot and god knows what else she did. My dad tried to get her help, he tried so many times but she was a nut that could never be cracked. Finally she got sent back down to Florida to live with Gail, and had me. Back in Stephentown Josh was in high school doing his thing, he was a lot like me in school and a lot like me out of school, and he wasn’t such a bad kid after all. Tyler was still in Stephentown elementary to young to understand any of it all. Tonya didn’t have me for too long, they took me away from her. Gail had me for a little while too but since she didn’t take her medication they thought that wasn’t a safe environment for me. Over time there was these two very good hearted people named Lisa and John Purdy, my parents, they drove all they down from Stephentown, New York to get me. I was six months old at the time so I don’t remember any of it but I wish I did. Time goes by after I was saved from all this torture, Tonya was married to some drug dealer and drug user and had my half-brother Michael. He went through the same thing I went through but I think he got it worse to be honest with you. He got taken away from Tonya and Allen, then Gail watched him till he was two years old, and then he ended up with his grandmother Mildred.

Time goes by and I still remember this day like it yesterday. It was my first day of kindergarten and my favorite dog off all time Mac and my mom Lisa were waiting with me at the bus stop. The bus come down mom said give me a kiss and go hop on the bus quick as a bunny and Mac walked me to the bus. My bus drivers name was Tom and who would’ve known today me and Tom are close friends. On the bus ride I sat right across from one of my best friends back then Bernard Crawford. We didn’t say much on the bus ride. I walk in the class room and I started bumping into a lot of chairs and all the sudden I almost walked into Joe Foley and Bernard Crawford, this is where the amazing friendship began. Kindergarten through 6 grades Bernard and I were best friends. Joe and I don’t talk anymore that much because of some of the stuff he has done I don’t think is right but I still consider him my friend and I hope he will turn it around for the better so we can be friends again. All three of us did everything together and I had a lot of good memories in elementary school. During fifth grade was one of the worse years of my life. Lisa and I got in the biggest fight ever and it got so bad that I got sent to for winns. I was there on my eleventh birthday and it sucked there. I got locked up in a room and I never got to roam around. That place changed me and not for the better either, I got in lots of fist fights there and I thought I was the king of the hill. There was this one kid that started stuff with me and I got mad and went after him. Little did I know that this kid was a lot stronger then I was back then. I got my butt kicked though to the point where I blacked out. That kid was the biggest kid I ever seen in my life and after that I did a lot of stuff that an eleven year shouldn’t have known how to do. I got out of for winns and I just became worse I started drinking all throughout middle school and somehow I still did all the sports I did and I was good at it. After all that ninth grade came about and I got into smoking pot a lot and it was horrible. It was uncontrollable; since Tonya is a drug addict I have the higher chance out of the average person to become a drug addict. Memorial Day weekend came around, Joe and I went to smoke pot and we got caught. After that I have been sober for 3 years now and I haven’t smoked pot in two. And I have turned into who I am today. Joe and I couldn’t hang out for like five months but it was probably for the best. Over that time we both changed and we didn’t do any sort of drug or so I thought. Joe got back into smoking pot, I was shocked and I thought he was really done with it but he wasn’t. It was hard to think that my best friend since kindergarten was back into the whole drug issue.

The tenth grade came and in so many ways it was good but in school it was horrible for me. Tenth grade is when I meant the love of my life Shania Bierwirth. At first we hated each other but then we became friends and over time we got together as a couple. It was a long overdue process that should have happened in December 2011. I’m glad that I got to have her under my arms and I still have her today.

The most important thing is though is that I turned out all right. Thanks to Lisa, John, Josh, and Tyler they let me in as a family member when I didn’t have anybody else. Thanks to the incredible people I have the strength of a bear but one thing that is still unexplained to everybody is my soul. Of course I can’t forget all of my friends, past friends, teachers, other relatives, and my amazing girlfriend that have always been there for me its people like them that I don’t want to lose and it would break my heart to lose any one of them. They have all had very big but different impacts on my life. I love every one of these people and I will never forget them. I’m just a normal kid with a messed up life that grew up in a small town. But I always say I would rather be in Stephentown then a homeless shelter with a drug addict. I got everything I need right here in Stephentown, Thank you.