The spring break that I had been waiting for since the beginning of the third quarter had finally arrived. I felt like a rabbit that just escaped from a hole in the ground. “Yes! The break is finally here! Now I can hang out with my friends and go to Seoul!” I exclaimed. My body was full of relief and excitement. My brother’s passport had to be renewed and so my whole family and I went down to Seoul to renew my brother’s passport.
We were staying at my aunt’s house when I heard my mom speak to my dad. “Aaron, I don’t think my uncle’s going to survive this year.” After feeling a surge of adrenaline, I immediately went into my cousin’s room. I had not seen my cousin for such a long time! It was great to finally be on break after a long period of continuous pile of work. Time went by so quickly. Before I knew it, it was Thursday night and I was lying down on the fluffy white hotel mattress. I closed my eyes and thought about my great-uncle. Because my grandfather had passed away before I was born, my great-uncle was like a grandfather to me. I thought of the times when our family had visited my great-uncle’s house, and had gone to the Korean-style mega-sauna, traditional festivals, and many other places together. I did not want to think about what my mother had said the other day because the thought of losing him was so agonizing. It bothered me so much that I could not even bring myself to talk to him on the phone the morning before because of the fear and trepidation within me. I told my mom that we should visit him soon and that I would call him back the following day.
Di-ring di-ring di-ring. It was around 5 a.m. when my mother got a phone call from my great-aunt.
“Who is calling at this time of night?”asked my dad.
“My uncle just passed away…”answered my mom.
I recall hearing my mother cry and my dad reassuring her that everything was going to be all right. Under my blanket, millions of thoughts and emotions rushed through me and I started to whimper quietly so that my parents would not hear. It was probably the first time I felt pure sadness and emotional pain. How unfair is this world? Did my great-uncle really die? What is my great-aunt going to do without him? Why wasn’t I given the chance to say good-bye and to tell him that I loved him so much? It was time to leave Seoul.
After about two hours of driving, we arrived in Onyang, where my great-uncle had lived and where the funeral home was located. When I stepped into the funeral home and saw my great-uncle’s name written on a big white placard, reality hit me even harder. He really had passed away. I felt anxious, uncomfortable, angry, panic, hesitant, regret, remorse, and probably every other negative emotion that existed. Tears streamed down my face looking at my great-uncle’s picture in the black frame surrounded by many flowers.
At the funeral, I met family members that I had not seen in years or had not even met before. For the first time in 17 years or more, our separate branches of families were together and were able to connect- and I mean really connect- for the first time, and share the pain of losing my great-uncle. The Korean side of my family has a complicated past and are so spread out that this was the first time in years that they all sat down in one place and talked. Traditionally, it is said that in funerals the families should look content and loud, and feel sorrow, grief, and other negative emotions on the inside. My great-uncle’s brother was glad to see my dad and so I sat down and translated for them for about five hours. Although the family was in a lot of pain, I looked beyond that and saw how great it was that our whole family was united again. All my distant family members gathering in one place in honor of my great-uncle and realizing how important family is was a lesson I would never forget that would change my life. All the conflict between the families was mended and we loved and bonded. Beneath all the sorrow, this part of the Korean culture that I was able to experience was beautiful.
The next day when the embalming process was done, my family was feeling better but was still in heartache, knowing that it was time to let go. I was sitting in one of the rooms when my grandmother came up to me and told me, “It is said that when a person passes away, they either leave the family unraveled or bring them together to form a stronger and better family. Your great-uncle was a great man who was so kind and innocent to all people. It seems like he left us love and united our family once and for all.” She could not be more right. Although what my grandmother said was true, I could not help but to choke up a little, but I managed to hold back my tears. I nodded and smiled at my grandmother. Afterwards, our whole family gathered once again and went to my great-uncle’s favorite restaurant in Onyang.