Have you ever really regretted something, or even regretted NOT doing something? Maybe you just feel really guilty about what you said to someone, or even wished you could’ve said something to someone when you had the chance? Many people have, in fact; most people. It’s a very common feeling. Scholars have found two most common forms of regrets: regretting things you did that you wish you hadn’t done (regrets of commission), or regretting things you hadn’t done that you wish you had (regrets of omission).

A big question we all ask ourselves is, why do we let regret plague us? It’s hard for most people to forgive themselves, but it’s so much easier to forgive others for their mistakes. They’re usually really personal regrets, and give people insane questions running through their mind like, “what if...” or “I wonder....” They could also be saying statements like, “I wish….” It’s so hard to forget things that you wish you could take back, or do over again. In Tin’s case, he regrets a lot of his past decisions. That is very normal for a teenager to feel. Tin regretted lying to his parents a lot, and just going behind their back overall. A majority of teenagers do this.

Although it’s not only teenagers who regret past mistakes. In fact, a lot of adults do. Most adults wish they could go back in time and do something over, differently, or just not have done it at all. Regret causes us to become older than we are because of worry, stress and anxiety. We may not clearly see what is happening to us, but the stress of regret works away on our health and causes us to age beyond our years. Regret does not allow us to live our lives fully. The only way to live your life is by being present in the moment. With regret, we become more wrapped up in our past than we do our present. With our attention focused on the regret we experience wasted minutes, hours and even years. We all need to learn to live in the present, although as badly as we want that, it won’t happen. That big regret will always be at the back of our minds.

I as well have a lot of regrets. I’ve regretted saying words I didn’t mean when I was in an argument, then feeling so bad after, or even a small regret like not trying hard enough and not caring. Regret is a waste of time. It directs your attention towards experiences that you would rather forget and, therefore, whenever regret comes around it causes you to live your present moments in the past. The present is all we have, so we might as well keep our full attention on it. Many psychologists have asked, “If you had the chance to do your life over again and do something differently, would you?” Many people would actually, but you’re at where you are in life for a reason, and you can’t go back now.

A lot of people ask themselves, ‘how do you move past regret?’ Although, time heals everything. We don’t have to live with regret for the rest of our lives if we shift our viewpoints, beliefs, and focus. The first step to take in moving past regret is forgiving yourself. You have to be happy with yourself first before anything. One important thing to remember is that the past is the past. You cannot change it, so thinking about a decision that you made is not going to do anything except bring unhappiness into your life. As badly as you want to go back and change, you can’t. You can’t go do something over, so you should do yourself a favor and not even think about it. Having compassion for your old self who made the decision is another way to move past regret. Realizing that you made the best decision that you could make at the time may help you to realize that it was the only decision that you could make at the time. If you had known better than you would have done better. Lastly, learning from the experience will help you let go of the regret once and for all, and make sure you never do it again. We learn a lot from all the choices that we make, all the obstacles that we overcome and all situations that turn out less than perfect. Every single experience in life offers lessons to be learned. If you can find the lesson then you will feel better. In the end, letting your past decisions bother you and cause you regret is doing no good in your life. It’s not changing the decision you made and making it all better. So don’t waste your precious time being depressed over something that you can’t change, just better yourself from it.