I have often pictured how my life would be ten or twenty years from now. Ever since I were a little girl I would draw these pictures of elaborate houses and lifestyles with the perfect spouse, dog and possible children. I grew up basing my future life off unrealistic T.V shows and Disney movies.

Then of course, I grew up realizing those lifestyles don’t exist. I felt confused after that. Like I didn’t know what to do or expect in life. It was all one huge puzzle and I couldn’t even figure out what pieces I searched for. In some ways I still feel like this. Except now instead of sappy love stories and a fantasy romance I feel this way towards almost every idea in life.

I constantly ask myself “why?” to all different kinds of things. Whether important or beyond my intelligence. There are so many questions left unsaid and so many topics rarely talked about. At times it’s difficult to continue on a solid and normal journey without curiosity taking lead.

Yet each day I accept. I learn it’s okay to have subjects wondered about and to always have questions, even if they may be left unanswered. I learn so many things just by being patient, just thinking. So many virtues that will stay with me throughout a lifetime. Positive aspects on myself and others around me that make the unknowing not as frightening.

I hope one day when I’m old I’ll sit somewhere, no matter the place or the person by my side, if with a person at all, and really look back on my life and feel contempt with myself. Feel proud of what I have accomplished and all that I’ve learned. I don’t crave the entire world and all the love and great things that are offered. I just long for a sense of wholesomeness. A point in my life where I can admit I don’t know an answer to a question yet the curiosity that follows is satisfactory. Rather than feeling angry because I don’t know, I feel happy because there are so many great possible answers and my mind is left to wander among all the choices. It’s an odd feeling to picture an older version of myself. It’s also a curiosity that I could stress and worry about. Yet instead I’ll wonder, and just by doing that I’ll feel contempt. There are so many great things to come that are yet to even be known of.