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The silence grew impatient in my class once the teacher called out my name. Everything stopped just to watch the failure of language.
“Hello…Stutter, are you going to say something?” she asked.
“Uh----wh—at you say Ms. Jail?” I said
“Stutter, what is the equation for PT?” she asked patiently.
“Uh----it’s…a2 +b2 = c…c2.” I said forcefully
Before I continue with my stuttering, I might as well tell you this whole stuttering thing happened, let’s rewind to day one of my speaking career. Like every other young kid learning how to speak, I began, by learning from their parents or people around them. By mocking them or listening how they talk. But as for me…I wasn’t the freshest carrot in the crop. In other words I was a slow learner. When I was about 2 years old I was learning how to speak with actual sentences and not part of words. Unlike an average 2 year old, who learns that at their late 1’s and early 2’s. And then when I was 7 years old, I learned that this whole stuttering isn’t a phase- it’s a going to be a lifestyle for me.
I remember my parents talking to me about where they wanted to go on vacation….
“Stutter! Hey Sweetie, can you come down here to the dinner table please?” my mom called out
“Ca-ca-ca-ca coming, ma-ma-ma-mom.” I managed to respond
“Okay sweetie!” my dad said
“I…i…I’m here da-da-dad.” I said
“Okay sweetie, I have to tell you something. Dad and I decided to take you to Denver, Colorado because they have a good speech program there. They can see if you have a stuttering problem or if you have some other speech issue.” She smiled kindly at me.
“We’re leaving on Monday, October 3rd 2004.” She informed me.
Well, after that whole ordeal of traveling to Denver, they realized that I have something called a speech impediment. And this speech impediment is called stuttering. The doctors told me that stuttering is a variable disorder, which means that it comes once in a while and there’s nothing that I can do to control it.
Ever since I went to Denver my stuttering problem has gotten a little bit bad. There were a few experiences that I would like to tell you about, if you want to hear. Then of course you don’t really have a choice on what you get to hear and what you don’t get to hear.
The first experience is when I was about 10 years old and I was at school. Ms. Hilka told us that we would present our favorite country in class. I thought to myself OHMG I don’t want to do this. Fast forward two weeks when the evil ruthless Ms. Hilka tell us it’s the day of class presentations.
“Okay, this is the order of presentations,” she said. “First of all, I want Jag.”
Well, jag presented on the country called Spain and it was really good. Because he brought some food from Spain and he brought artifacts from Spain and everything. But then it was my turn….
“Stutter…I believe it’s your turn sweetie to come and present on your favorite country.” She said politely
When I heard my name from that ruthless human being called Ms. Hilka. I felt this chill down my spine. And I decided to mutter out these words…”Ms. Hilka can I ca-ca-go third please.” I said forecfully
“Stutter no you can’t go third. I called you up to present next so you’re presenting next. No ifs and or buts.” Ms. Jail said ruthlessly
“Oka-y Ms. Jai-…l.” I said sadly
As I got up from my seat and began walking down those narrow path of desk. I was given warm and hostile looks by my classmates. I was given some looks and Fade and his friends were mocking me by say “hey stutter, Hel---o my nam-e is Stu-t-er…” Fade and his friend said mockingly I continued walking down the narrow path of desk and I’m telling you that felt like the longest walk of my life. My heart was beating so fast that it sounded like baby by Justin Bieber. Well after nearly passing out I made it to the front of my class and Ms. Jail was like Stutter feels free to tell us about your favorite country.
“O-k-ay, w-e-l-l my favorite country is Canada and I would l-ike to tell you that Canada is a really beautiful country. I-went their –when – i-was 5-years old and I really had f-un…Well, c-anada had this really c-ool place called Wh-lister and I we-nt to the mountains and I go to ride ATV’s and it was the most fun—e-s-ttt thing I’ve ever done. Well to conclude I think Canada is th-e best country you can ever go.” I said proudly and forcefully
“Okay, stutter thank you for that poor excuse for a presentation. I’m glad your classmates were here to see you fail and stutter. I can’t believe you how can stand with your stuttering problem. Man if it was me I would feel like I’m a disgrace to my family and to myself. Like seriously stutter how could you live with yourself?” Ms. Jail said gladly
“U-h… Ms. Jail i-th-ink th-at wasn’t v-ery nice. I ca-can’t con-trol it. I-f i-could control it I would Ms. Jail. S-oo don-t caome-come here and try to make me feel guilty for what I did!” I said defensively
“Well you know stutter I’m not going to have this conservation with you right know. Cause first of all why would I have a student who stutters. What does that show as a teacher and as a human being? Nothing….this isn’t some charity that I have feel bad for you. This is life so honestly I don’t want you in my class if you’re going to stutter. So, Monday I want you out of my class and out of my sight because I don’t want to have a person with a disability in my classroom. Is that understood Stutter?” Ms. Jail said proudly
“Y-ou know Ms. Jail….actually never…mind yes that’s understood. But before I leave I would like to say to the ccac-class that n-o i-s perfect and thank you for having me Ms. Jail in your classroom cause I learned that not everybody is tolerant to my stuttering. But you know M—sss Jail you watch I’m going to be the most successful person in this classroom and when I become famous you’ll see and trust me you’re going to feel bad for what you said and what you did to me. Goodbye everybody” I said happily