A Geek’s Guide to Love | Teen Ink

A Geek’s Guide to Love MAG

June 18, 2011
By blackswan42 SILVER, Cortlandt Manor, New York
blackswan42 SILVER, Cortlandt Manor, New York
5 articles 0 photos 6 comments

It's spring. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and love is in the air. Perhaps you've been noticing how cute that boy in your AP biology class looks without his protective goggles on, or maybe how that girl in your SAT prep classes (that you're retaking just to be safe, even though you got a 2300 the first time) has been sporting a sexy new backpack, equipped with an extra pocket for a mini dictionary and graphing calculator. Yes, love is all around us, and we're all dying to find that special someone.

Now, we geeks are not known for our social skills, but with a couple of easy tips, you'll be able to get a date faster than you can complete a complex trigonometric equation. (Trig is easy. We mastered that in third grade.)

First you need a catchy pick-up line. For example, you could approach that attractive girl/boy in your chemistry class and say, “You must be really electronegative, because I'm highly attracted to you.” Or if it's a physics student who catches your eye, you could try, “I think I'm falling for you, and it's not just because of Newton's law of universal gravitation.” No sexy supergeek will be able to resist your charm.

Now that you've successfully asked out the guy/girl of your dreams, it's time to plan the date. (Date [n]: A word used by non-geeks that refers to socializing with one's significant other outside of school.) Despite the fact that a date takes up hours of precious studying time, it seems to be a very popular activity. But don't worry – you can plan a date with just the right mix of academics and romance.

Many geeks accompany each other to the library, where a romantic afternoon can be spent reading Shakespeare's love poems or researching courtship in the Middle Ages. If you get tired of the library (as if that's possible), you can always take your special someone to the museum and perhaps share an ice cream while discussing the techniques of post-Impressionism. Or if the geek you're interested in is more of a homebody, you can just spend some time staring into each other's eyes, thinking deeply about the electro-chemical impulses in your photoreceptors that connect light with movement.

If all goes well, you'll soon be involved in a whirlwind romance with the geek of your dreams. It might not seem as great as achieving a 4.0 GPA or writing the perfect research paper, but studies have shown that those with life partners live longer on average. (Yay, more studying time!) So go polish that pocket protector and get out there!

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This article has 7 comments.

on Jun. 5 2013 at 8:28 pm
hewsonjew BRONZE, WALNUT, California
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
ehhh, i prefer math pickup lines like "Hey, I just failed my calculus test, cause I could never replace anything with "u"" or "are you the one? Cause you're sin(pi/2) or cos0"

on Jun. 11 2012 at 1:55 am
i_am_so_very_large_and_towering SILVER, Mililani, Hawaii
5 articles 1 photo 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yet what is any ocean but a multitude of drops?"

hahaha i am adding this to my favorites!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on May. 29 2012 at 3:39 pm
BloglessBlogger GOLD, Somerset, California
10 articles 1 photo 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't let the fear of striking out keep keep you from playing the game."

I hope I'm not that bad. It seems like something my friend would tell me...

on May. 28 2012 at 6:40 pm
TheMouseWins BRONZE, Cumberland Center, Maine
1 article 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
I have two. I know, very duplicitous.
"I know what you're thinking... and you oughtta be ashamed of yourself." --Robert Preston.
"I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception."- Groucho Marx

Borderline offensive. I loved it.

on Feb. 9 2012 at 12:23 am
CrazyNerdyFangirl SILVER, Sugar Land, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 10 comments
This is adorable. :D

on Jan. 23 2012 at 8:17 pm
bandgeekfreak DIAMOND, No Answer, Texas
59 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
“A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.” Abraham Maslow.

This reminds me of my boyfriend, and defiantly made me smile. This is great, keep writing:)

on Jun. 30 2011 at 2:59 pm
wavesofwishes GOLD, Drummond, Wisconsin
12 articles 1 photo 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
All it takes..is all you've got.

I loved this! It was so cute, it definitely made me smile. Good job! :)