Yesterday i watched Alice in wonderland, the TI'm Burton version and at the part where the red queen showed up, i started crying. Her story isn't evil, or bad its just sad, and i felt a strong connection to her. She is so powerful, so talented, but so overwhelming that no one can handle her so they stay away. While with her sister everyone loved her right away, everyone wanted to be with her. And while everyone loved her sister, no one loved her, her own parents chose her sister over her. It drove her to the point of acting out which was the only TI'me she got what she wanted and where people noticed and listened to her, respecting her in the way she wanted. It gave her power no one gave her willingly. It was her own power and jealousy that drove her to hate.

That night after the movie i lay awake crying again, hating myself in the same way for being so over whelming, but someTI'me after midnight i sat up and wiped away my tears. I decided that i didn't care anymore. Id rather be me then loved being someone I've created. The red queen went mad with hate because people didn't love her, and i have decided that if i can forgI've myself, and accept that I'm me then i wont end up like her. I hope that at some point society will accept people like the queen and me, and that love will be something that is easily gI'ven and a word said more often.