Love Will Hold Us Together | Teen Ink

Love Will Hold Us Together

June 13, 2010
By Anonymous

Doesn’t every little girl dream of falling in love with a prince on a white horse? Well, I know I did. That is until one guy came along and turned my world upside down in good and, let’s just say some not so good ways too.

December 2, 2009, was the night that I met him. I was at the church Christmas formal. Big blue eyes. Curly brown hair. I fell head over heels when my friend Rebecca introduced me to him. “Oh, yeah. This is Devin. You probably remember him, right, Caity?” That’s how I first met him. I will never forget those words and I will be eternally in debt to Rebecca for introducing me to him.
His name? Devin. Born November 13, 1996. Seventh grade. Goes to christian school. Born and raised in the New Orleans area. Moved to great ‘ole Opelousas after Hurricane Katrina.
Let’s just say that that night, December 2, 2009, was the first day of the rest of my life. Devin hardly said a word that night while I, on the other hand, talked away. I could tell he was nervous and he later admitted he was. He wore a black and red plaid flannel shirt (that was quite an interesting shirt), jeans, and navy hi-top Converse sneakers. I wore a knee length, black party dress with glittery ballet flats. In my opinion the highlight of the night was when he asked for my number. Well, he never actually asked for my number. He asked if I wanted HIS number. “Hey, um, do you, uh, want my number so we can, uh…text?” were his exact words.
Turns out Devin played guitar, wrote music, and had a passion for music just like me. He was also extremely sensitive. And was raised by a single mom. He could play the Mario theme song by tapping his hands on his jaws. He had an uncanny ability to make any situation funny. He could make me smile/laugh by saying or doing pretty much anything. His hugs were the best hugs I’ve ever had.
Devin was by far one of the coolest people I had ever met. He was instantly my best friend. He understands me better than anyone else. He knew exactly what to say to me to make me feel better in any situation. I felt like I could really open up to him and be the real Caity S. around him not some made up one and he accepted me for who I was. All the flaws and imperfections, all the quirks, all the zits, all the mood swings, all the gross and cheesy jokes, my little Chinese eyes, all my complaints, everything. Every part of me.
I couldn’t believe that this amazing guy pretty much just fell out of the sky into my lap. I loved him from the moment I laid eyes on him. It was so love at first sight. It was romantic in my opinion. I never stopped thinking about him and my heart skipped a beat when he texted me or said my name. There was something about the way he said my name. It was so sweet and innocent. No one can say “Caity” like he can.
I remember the first time he called me. It was the day before New Year’s Eve. My family and I had just come home from buying fireworks for a party at my aunt’s house the next day. We were texting the whole time and when I got home, I was changing into my pajamas when he texted me and said, “Can I call you?” Those four little words sent my heart pounding. I barely replied to his text when he called me. There was awkward silence for awhile before we actually started talking and holding a conversation. It’s not that we didn’t have anything to talk about it was just different. I loved it.
I also remember the first time we hung out. January 9, 2010. I was going to a rabbit show in Raceland and I invited him to come with me. My family and I picked him up at 4:30 in the morning. Devin was so nervous. I could tell because he never shut up! He was meeting my parents for the first time that day. We had the best time. We tried to win some matching sunglasses off the raffle table but I won one pair and my little brother won the other. Devin had to give Jonas one dollar, a piggyback ride, and a hug to get them. But he ended up getting them from Joe.
I even remember the first time I went to his house. January 16, 2010. I spent the morning shopping with my brother and mom and that afternoon Devin asked if I wanted to go to his house and watch a movie. My mom was gung-ho about it but my dad wasn’t so sure. You know how dads can be when it comes to their baby girls and boys though, right? I went and we watched “Evan Almighty” (Totally romantic, huh?) He held my hand through the whole movie. I was walking on sunshine I was so happy. No guy had ever held my hand before. When I told my mom, we were like a bunch of giggly little girls.
The first date. Valentine’s Day. Dinner and movie. He gave me flowers, chocolates, a card, and a HUGE teddy bear. I named the big bear Zea after the restaurant we ate dinner at. It was not only my first date with him but my first date period. We saw “Tooth Fairy” in the movie which wasn’t a very romantic movie but it was still nice. He gave me my favorite kind of flowers, daisies, and my favorite kind of chocolate, solid milk chocolate. It was the fairytale date I had dreamed of for a long time.
Then the worst thing that ever happened to our relationship hit. April 30, 2010. Devin and I were doing a concert with our music school. We were performing Love Story by Taylor Swift. I was singing and he was playing the guitar. The concert was taking place April 30th at 7:15 at East Church. I was hyped to do this concert and sing one of my favorite songs with the guy I loved to death. I bought a new dress and searched all over Lafayette for yellow wedges to go with the dress. I got ready on that Tuesday afternoon all excited about singing. I had practiced this song for literally months. I got there and waited for Devin to get there. When he finally got there he looked totally handsome. It was the most handsome I’d ever seen him look. He was wearing skinny jeans, gray Converse, a white long sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a gray vest, and a loose yellow tie to match my dress. He looked perfect. We ran through the song with my voice teacher one time then went into the room where the concert was taking place. Devin and I sat down and he was texting while looking around the room. I could tell he wasn’t just checking out the room, he was looking for something or rather someone. He got up and ran to the girl and hugged her and brought her over to where I was still sitting. He introduced her to me as “Sarah”. I shook her hand and smiled and asked her how she was doing. She scanned me up and down and said, “Fine”.
I performed perfectly. I sang perfect, I never missed a word or note. It was amazing until the second to last performance. I got up to use the restroom and when I came back, Devin and Sarah were both gone. At this point I thought I was gonna burst into tears. I sucked it up and sat back down and watched the rest of the concert. Alone.
After the concert, I took a picture with my voice teacher while on the verge of tears. I walked out into the lobby and I have yet to see Devin or Sarah and I still had no idea where he was, what he was doing, or who he was with. His mom was trying to call him because she had no idea where he was either. I left the building crying. I was trying not to but I couldn’t. I cried and cried. Mascara was dripping down my face and my makeup was terrible. I was a mess to go eat dinner afterwards. And then he had the nerve to text me, “Hi”. I honestly wanted to push him off a cliff at the moment.
When I got home I got all the stuff he gave me together and put it all in a pile on the dining room table. I didn’t know if I was gonna dump him or what but I just didn’t wanna look at the stuff. But since my mom had my phone, she read all the texts he sent me that night. He told me that I didn’t leave him any other option but for him to dump me. So I took that he was dumping me. Am I crazy to have thought that? Nope. I don’t think so. So the next morning my mom drove me to his house so I could give him all his stuff back. I just left it on his porch and texted him telling him his stuff is on his porch.
I was a wreck all that day. I cried and cried all day. He was being a complete jerk to me and blaming it all on me!! Telling me that I ruined everything and it was all my fault and that I dumped him. I was angry and mad and hurt and just so confused.
The main thing I wanted was revenge. He was being a complete jerk to me so naturally I wanted revenge. I wanted to make him realize that the best thing in his life just walked away. So I planned revenge. I came up with a bunch of different plans to get back at him such as: hack into his Face book and change the password, throw eggs at his house, TP his house, and draw a broken heart on the back of his mom’s car with window chalk. My mom wouldn’t let me do most of these because she said they would be considered vandalism and she could get arrested. (Who cares if she gets arrested? I would be happy so wouldn’t it be worth it? Not to her…) But I ended up coming up with this brilliant plan so my mom wouldn’t get arrested. I planned that I would act like his girlfriend again and tell him that he is complete right. That I was wrong and he was right and that everything was my fault and that I was sorry. He believed it. I felt so sneaky and powerful but here’s the kicker. We promised that we could both hang out and do things with friends whenever we wanted and it didn’t matter. So I was gonna make sure I always had plans and I was always doing something with somebody or going somewhere with someone. Then I was gonna drop the bombshell that I had found someone else and that we were over. I just had to make sure that I didn’t get caught up in it and that I remember that this wasn’t for real and that I had to find another perfect guy who wouldn’t do what he did to me again.
How long do you think that lasted? Not even a day. I got all caught up in it. I was happy because I had my Devvy back. I had him back until the fact that things would never be the same after it all because I felt like there was a gap. Well, the gap got bigger when my parents made me break up with him Thursday night and forbid me to talk to him ever again. I never felt so empty inside. I never felt so lonely in the world. I had not only lost my boyfriend but my best friend too. I was a mess but the thing that got me through it all was “When I Look at You” by Miley Cyrus. That song was my crutch. I listened to no other song for almost 72 hours. I just didn’t wanna listen to any other song.
But the next day I decided I needed to tell Devin I loved him more than anything one last time face to face. So I did. My mom drove me to his house and I rang the doorbell and banged on the door for almost 15 minutes before he finally answered it. (He was sleeping. Typical…) When I saw him, I bursted into tears and he just held me while I cried. I told him I loved him more than anything and that I wanted to work things out. We ended up deciding that we would have a meeting at my house with my parents, his mom, and us that night. We wanted to tell everyone we were back together and that love would hold us together but it didn’t really work out that way. We ended up rehashing Tuesday night and the concert thing and everything. He ended up leaving my house happy but I had a lot more to think about and new things came out into the air.
He brought Sarah to the Skillet concert Thursday night.
I know what you’re thinking, “But you guys were already broken up so what does it matter?” Well, he asked her to the concert Wednesday night when we were technically still together. So that crushed me but I just needed to get over it. I loved Devin more than anything I was not gonna let some little cursing Goth girl take him from me. I was gonna be the perfect little girlfriend every guy wants and make him feel guilty. I wanted him to realize that this sweet girl that loves him to death is staring him in the face, so why does he have to go look for love somewhere else? So I did just that. I was my sweet little self when in reality I was happy one minute, sad that next, mad the next, or was crying the next. I was so heartbroken and confused for so many reasons.
And then on top of all that, his mom was out to get me. She completely hated my guts. I had a feeling she never really did like me but Devin told me she did and she did too. But she didn’t act like it. Sure, she was nice and sweet around me and smiled and all that. But behind closed doors she was a different person. Devin told me that she was always telling him to stop texting me and she would get mad when he was on the phone with me. She would call me names to Devin and that would tick Devin off, so he would get mad and telling her to never call me names like that and to be nice to me.
But my question to her was: What does name-calling solve?
The answer? We all know it. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Does calling me a witch and spoiled brat fix anything? Nope.
I found that Ms. Melissa was actually two different people. The person she wanted you to think she was and the person she actually is. She was all about looks. She was always concerned about everything looked to people. She was also very materialistic. She was all about name brands. If Devin had a big name brand on his shirt or shorts, he was gonna wear it whether he wanted to or not. Even if he looked like a complete fool. She was a control freak big time. She wanted to be in control of everything and play mind games with everybody around her. For example: If I asked Devin to a go to a movie with me the next day, she wouldn’t give him an answer whether he could go or not 15 minutes before we needed to pick him up. Or, she’ll give him one answer days or even weeks beforehand and the day of change her mind. She was definitely unpredictable. She wanted Devin all to herself. She didn’t wanna share him with anyone. Especially me.
Things got better between Devin and me pretty quick. His mom just didn’t want him around me at all. We agreed that we would see each other at church and one other time during the week, right? Well, she made it a point to go to a different service than the one all of us had been going to forever. She would either bring Devin to the early service so they could go up to Cottonport to visit with her mom or the late service because she “couldn’t wake Devin up” when he was texting me the whole time.
I never did understand that woman and I honestly don’t think I ever will.
Then things got back to normal. Devin came over to my house literally every day, Ms. Melissa was somewhat normal until one Tuesday Devin decided he wanted to talk to his dad. Everything with his dad is another story completely. A long and confusing one at that. Mr. Skip, Devin’s dad, and Ms. Melissa were never married but according to Ms. Melissa, he had cheated on her. But when Devin was three, he left both of them to marry this woman. Ms. Melissa still blames everything that goes wrong in her life because of Devin’s dad, “The Baby Daddy”, as she calls him. If she breaks a nail, it’s because Skip was calling her. If she didn’t have money to do this or that, it’s because Skip never gave her the money. It’s retarded in my opinion.
He called up his dad and his dad said they would go out to eat. They ate lunch and talked for almost 2 and half hours. Dev came back to my house around 2:30. Well, Mr. Skip stayed and talked to my mom for awhile. Well, guess who showed up?
The devil herself.
Oh, lord. When Ms. Melissa showed up, all hell broke loose. Devin was shaking like a leaf he was so scared. Mr. Skip and Ms. Melissa were yelling at each other. I was crying hysterically. And my momma, my poor, poor momma, was trying to settle everything down. It was a mess.
I was so, so scared she would uproot my Devvy and move away in 24 hours. (She did it before. No lie.) But she didn’t. Thank God! But a lot of stuff happened that night that made me and Devvy upset. It really had nothing to do with me but seeing Devin upset and crying and knowing I can’t do anything to make it better breaks my heart. It really does.
If I could make Devin’s like perfect, I would in a heartbeat. He’s been through so many things that 13 year olds should never have to go through. Most adults haven’t been through or seen or heard the things he has. He’s had a long, hard life. I just wish I could help somehow but I can’t. That’s what makes me so mad. I can’t do anything to make things between his mom and dad better. I can’t make his mom any less psycho than she already is. I can’t take back things he’s heard, seen, or forced to do in his past. I can’t fix any of it and I get so frustrated. I see him upset and crying and hurt by people who claim they love him and I wanna help. But I can’t do anything. Nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada.
Then my birthday came around. May 22. Devin was going to spend the day with me while his mom went down to Dequincy to visit his delinquent grandfather. (I have no idea what he’s in prison for. Neither does Devvy…) We had a fairly good day. I got some awesome gifts…and some strange ones. I wanted to go to the mall and go to Outback Steakhouse for dinner. And we did just that. But, Devin decided he was going to call his dad and “run away”. (Personally, I don’t think you can run away if you’re running to your dad but whatever.)
Things didn’t really change between Devin and I except for the fact that he was all the way in Youngsville and I was still in little Opelousas. But that’s no big thing. Devin was just a wreck because his mom didn’t really wanna talk to him. Well, she said she did but she didn’t show that she did. (Another one of her little games…) Mr. Skip tried so many different things to get her to talk to him. Devin just wanted to tell her that he still loved her and tell her why he did what he did. But she didn’t wanna go to a public place because “it was the worst thing that happened in her life and she didn’t want to display it to the world”.
Things are just insane between Devin and his mom and I don’t think they’ll ever really calm down.
She’s insane.
Devin is a sweetheart.
I’m head over heels in love.
And love will hold us together.

The author's comments:
This piece was inspire by all the hard times me and my first boyfriend went through. All the laughs, trials, tears, and pain. It starts on the we met and never ends because love will hold us together.

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