Finding My Place | Teen Ink

Finding My Place

March 13, 2010
By TheColorSilver PLATINUM, Commack, New York
TheColorSilver PLATINUM, Commack, New York
27 articles 22 photos 33 comments

Making friends never came easy to me. All through elementary school, girls were never that interested in me. I had a 100 average in three classes, but a 0 in social skills. I guess it’s easy to ignore someone that doesn’t fit in.

By the time eighth grade rolled around, I had a close group friends. I spent my weekends studying and enjoying time with my family. Nothing else mattered.

Every morning I woke up 15 minutes before the bus came, tied my hair back, put on my wide framed, square glasses and threw on whatever was on top of my drawer. 15 minutes preparing myself for school, three hours preparing my brain for school, with rigorous studying. Every subject came naturally to me, except fitting in.

When freshman year approached, I had hoped that nothing would change, but as soon as I walked through the doors, I felt out of place. High School was a place where not fitting in stood out instead of being ignored. I wanted to turn invisible, but it felt impossible to blend into a surrounding in which I didn’t belong.

The next morning, I woke up one and a half hours before my bus came. I slid contacts gracefully onto my eye, and swiped the edges of my eyes with eyeliner. I put on a pink dress with a floral design and wrapped a black belt to show off my defined waist. I was pretty.

The day passed like a blur, people complimented my outfit, and they said they like my hair. A few girls asked me if I wanted to hang out. I wasn’t used to the attention, so during 7th period math, I shied away, and into the bathroom.

I place my hands on the white porcelain sink, as I looked down at the silver drain that stared back at me. My eyes looked up until I made eye contact with my reflection. The girl standing on the other side of the mirror had my black straight hair, was wearing my frilly dress, and had my deep brown eyes, but she wasn’t me. The girl on the other side of the mirror had friends who never really understood her, because to them she was just another pretty little accessory, which they hang up to display. But no, that wasn’t me. Me, I am the girl who doesn’t fit in and doesn’t need to, because she has her own place.

Tears rolled down my cheek. Why had I let myself down? I rubbed my eyes, then everything fell into place. My contacts fell out, and the eyeliner was wiped off. I leaned my head over, and tied my hair into a pony. I head a knock on the door, my real friend asked, “Are you coming back to math?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there, one sec!!” I wiped off my face one last time, and slid my square glasses into place. I smirked at myself. “ ‘I’ am coming!”

I guess I found my place in High School, and I knew exactly where it was. Behind the square glasses, and next to people who really care about me, for me.

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