Confessions of a Stalker | TeenInk

Confessions of a Stalker MAG

By “Susan”, Auburn, NY

     I look forward to seeing his face every morning. His gorgeous blue eyes, adorable smile, his perfect hair; you couldn’t ask for anything better. I’ve never talked to him, but I feel like I know him. You can call me a stalker, or obsessed. I know I am. This is high school; it’s okay to have fun.
It all starts before homeroom, when I see him at his locker. Then it’s time to go for a little walk down the hall. My heart starts pounding and the butterflies start fluttering. All I hope for is a brief moment of eye contact. Maybe that’s all I need to have a good day, or maybe I know that’s all that will ever happen.
I totter down the hall like I’ve never walked before. It’s difficult to be noticeable without looking like you’re trying. Time seems to slow down as I approach him - like I’m walking toward the horizon but it’s not getting any closer. He’s more magnificent than the horizon. When I’m finally parallel with his locker, my head turns and I glance his way. Will he gaze back, or just ignore the fact that he is my morning cup of coffee? Sometimes my cup is half full, and other times it’s completely empty. When I see his eyes looking into mine, the world lifts off my shoulders. My day is set. Today will be a good day.
Throughout the rest of the day, I see him a few more times. The same feelings go through my body. My day revolves around his schedule. It’s frightening, even to me. I know which stairs to go down, which halls to go through.
Does he know that I follow his every move? Does he know that he’s the most amazing thing ever to cross my path? He’s like a black cat without the bad luck. If I see him, it affects the rest of my day. He probably doesn’t even know I exist. I bet he doesn’t know my name, or where I live, let alone what grade I’m in. I always worry that I’m being too obvious. I wonder if he notices that I look at him and no one else. All of these what-ifs pulse through my head.
Now and then I want him to notice me, to ask questions, to wonder things about me - what’s her name, what’s she like, what’s her story? - like a journalist getting the juice behind a story. He probably knows more about me than I think. All my dreams could become reality if I just said something to him. But I could never do that. Me talking to him ... not a chance. There’s probably a greater chance of me having a pet dinosaur. I’ve fallen harder for this guy than a skydiver whose parachute didn’t open.
My life would basically be complete if we had a conversation. He’s way out of my league. I always talk about him. “Look how cute he looks today. I love those shoes.” What if he heard me? He probably has heard me say something about him. He has to notice me staring all the time. He has to know - how can he not? I know I would notice someone stalking me. If only I had the guts to walk up and say something to him.



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This article has 37 comments.


on Jul. 21 2013 at 1:01 pm
MckennaS PLATINUM, Port St Lucie, Florida
21 articles 0 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Me?
Well, I’m well.
Well, I mean I’m in hell.
Well, I still have my health
At least that’s what they tell me
If wellness is this, what in hell’s name is sickness?"

If you guys share eye contact every once in a while, then he knows you exist :)

on Oct. 19 2012 at 4:53 pm
chrisvfree PLATINUM, N/A, Florida
37 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face. - Johnny Depp

You express your feelings so well, and a killer crush like this is definitely very relatable. It must have taken a lot of courage to write this. A sweet, fast read. 

Misfit95 said...
on Sep. 27 2012 at 5:56 pm
Misfit95, Dover, Ohio
0 articles 0 photos 85 comments
At least you're a harmless stalker....I have one who isn't so harmless lol. But I think you should talk to him; you had the courage to write this, so you might be able to work up the courage to talk to him. By the way, you're a talented writer; I truly enjoyed reading this. You have captured the feelings of many teenage girls, and it's also something I can relate to. Good job; keep writing. :)

Just_Jill GOLD said...
on Feb. 20 2012 at 5:07 pm
Just_Jill GOLD, Gallipolis Ferry, West Virginia
16 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
Courage is not a lack of fear, it is acting despite the fear.

I believe you have put in words the feelings of many teenage girls across the nation. I loved all of the metaphors and how they strung together to make a complete story about your feelings. I definitely enjoyed reading it :)

on Jan. 29 2012 at 7:54 pm
AndSoItGoes01 SILVER, Reno, Nevada
9 articles 0 photos 147 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The winter I told you icicles are magic, you stole an enormous icicle from my neighbors shingle, and gave it to me as a gift, I kept it in my freezer for seven months. Love isn't always magic, sometimes it's melting." -Andrea Gibson

I loved reading this! You had a lot of guts writing about it and i just wanted to give you a congrats for that. The wording was fantastic and i hope you get the courage to talk to him too. I bet he would enjoy talking to a person as well spocken as you.

on Oct. 11 2011 at 8:53 pm
BrilliantInnocence SILVER, Edina, Minnesota
9 articles 4 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
" I'm not perfect, I'm perfectly flawed," Amy Lee
“Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary." -Gerard Way

Yes i'm not the only one!!

on Oct. 11 2011 at 8:42 am
jsalyers BRONZE, Glendale, Arizona
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
This has a lot of detail and expresses your feeling very well. but you said the same thing multiple times.

on Sep. 19 2011 at 9:27 pm
RedheadAtHeart ELITE, Mountain Home, Idaho
109 articles 0 photos 165 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love with open hands. - Madeleine L'Engle

This is me. To a T. I feel exactly this way. Were you inside my head or something??!

glub123 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 28 2011 at 10:54 am
glub123 BRONZE, North Wales, Pennsylvania
2 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Miracles do happen to those who deserve them.

i agree, but also a little creepy.

Bumbleshree said...
on Jun. 1 2011 at 6:12 pm
Here's my advice: Either leave him a note WITH YOUR NAME so he knows but it's personal. Or befriend one of his friends so you two can have a closer connection. lol to "i'd have a greater chance of getting a pet diinosaur" You're not a stalker, you're a victim of the lovebug! ;D

Gracie55 said...
on May. 17 2011 at 10:44 am
Ohhhh.........wow! I would be very creeped out if i had a stalker!:/

on Mar. 27 2011 at 7:27 pm
ketchupheadwriter GOLD, Centralia, Washington
11 articles 7 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

i think its sweet.

on Feb. 11 2011 at 7:18 am
taboomonster123 BRONZE, Herndon, Virginia
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
Never do anything you don't want to have to explain to the paramedics.

This is an easy read, but it is also well done. I was looking through the comments, and most people seem to be able to relate to the story... And believe me when I say "I know how you feel"- I'v ehad a crush on someone for over a year now, and he still seems to act like I'm nothing but a sister to him. I think you should try to talk to your guy- just say hi and complement him on his shoes or something.

on Feb. 2 2011 at 8:10 pm
Looks like someone's going to turn out to be a serial killer. Good story though.

on Jan. 30 2011 at 12:49 pm
Miss_Bliss GOLD, Waban, Massachusetts
17 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If we did all the things we were capable of, we would literally astound ourselves."

-Thomas Edison

Oh, oops. Didn't mean to post that twice...

on Jan. 30 2011 at 12:48 pm
Miss_Bliss GOLD, Waban, Massachusetts
17 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If we did all the things we were capable of, we would literally astound ourselves."

-Thomas Edison

This is really good - even though I've never felt this strongly about someone, you made it incredibly easy to imagine.

Here's the advice bit: Nothing's going to happen unless you do something to make it happen, so talk to him! MAKE a connection, don't just wait for one! Seriously, even though it seems like there are a million things that could go wrong, the probability of something actually going horribly wrong is incredibly slim. So take a chance!

...Obviously, you've got a lot of people who will support you. :)


Alia_Tan GOLD said...
on Jan. 20 2011 at 10:01 pm
Alia_Tan GOLD, Elk Grove, California
15 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I gotta right to sing the blues/
gotta right to moan and sigh/
I gotta right to sit and cry" From "I gotta right to sing the blues" By Louis Armstrong

make that triplets :) Ive felt tht way about one guy before! soooo my situation like rite on!!

Alia_Tan GOLD said...
on Jan. 20 2011 at 9:57 pm
Alia_Tan GOLD, Elk Grove, California
15 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I gotta right to sing the blues/
gotta right to moan and sigh/
I gotta right to sit and cry" From "I gotta right to sing the blues" By Louis Armstrong

Exactly how i felt last year!!! :D :D so glad im not alone :)

on Jan. 20 2011 at 2:27 pm
PassionHoldsMySoul BRONZE, Maplewood, Minnesota
4 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is such a secret place, the land of tears."
~Le Petit Prince, chapter 7

Nicely done! It was comfortable to read, like it was a string of thoughts out of anyone-with-a-crush's mouth.

PeetaMellark said...
on Dec. 27 2010 at 1:28 pm
LOL I thought I was the only one that felt this way about someone!!! xD xD For me it was a dude in my grade 3 years ago, and now it's a guy I met this year...Haha this is remarkable writing and it's pretty much my train of thought in story form. Thank you for sharing this story! You're a really good writer =)