19 & Married | Teen Ink

19 & Married

December 26, 2020
By AlleeRProctor PLATINUM, Martinsburg, Wv, West Virginia
AlleeRProctor PLATINUM, Martinsburg, Wv, West Virginia
21 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open." -Natalie Goldberg


"You don't even know her and you're already looking for rings?" "Anybody who gets married at 19, what the BLEEP is wrong with you?" "Are you sure you two really want to do this?" "Well, you don't really HAVE to stay with him, you can always file for a divorce."
 
These are all things my husband and I heard prior to our wedding date. And quite frankly, I owe no one an explanation as to why I chose to marry the man when I did, however here I am spilling my guts out to who knows whoever is reading this right now.
 
There was a point in my life where all I wanted was simplicity. I wanted to be a teacher. Go to our hometown college. Get married. Have babies. And ooo child, when I tell you how I always envisioned my fancy house and that white picket fence.
 
Next, came a really crazy point in my life. I was running around with boys who didn't believe in jobs, just trap houses. Boys who I had to run from cops with plenty of times. Boys who just wanted me to go to parties with and not at home cooking dinner. I was in that "the streets are calling my name" phase.
 
Then, I became GI Jane. I eventually realized that my previous life-style was gonna get me two places. In an orange suite. Or in a casket. During training, I really devoted myself to the Lord. I really thought about what I wanted out of life. I was at two extremes. Playing super safe or playing super risky. And I didn't want either, anymore.
 
So I graduated. I came home. And seriously almost went "back to the streets" again. But Cj called. And he made me feel like a child, again. We both wanted the white picket fence, but even greater, we both wanted the Lord.
 
Cj fell in love with me knowing the ugly garden I walked through and dared to create a flourishing one beside me. I told him how I was ready for a real man. That I was no longer looking for boys to date, but I was ready for a man to marry. Ironically enough, he was looking for the same real that I was. We spent countless nights discussing and discovering what God says a marriage is.
 
And on December 11th 2020, that's what we did. He vowed to each other and become unified as one.
 
I understand I am young. We both are. But when did we start allowing society and age define when to be married? And why did we ever make that okay? The divorce rates are high not because of numbers, but because of lack of commitment. Lack of effort. Lack of Christ.
 
Ever since Cj and I were together, God was the center of our relationship. And God remains the center of our marriage.
 
Yes, I am 19 and married. I say it, proudly.



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