My name is Quillen, and when I was a freshman I learned my name comes from Irish descent, but has no meaning; sometimes I think that “without meaning” fits me just as well. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends and family and the life that I have, but right now in this school in Iowa I don’t see myself as anything more than a kid who wants to become a Doctor. I don’t see myself as a Doctor; I see myself as someone who’s biggest achievement in the medical field is getting a CNA license. CNA is a professional term for “butt wiper”. I have a feeling that I will always be that kid that never talks, and always waits to be called the wrong name or be called “Quildo”. My name is unique and special, but also the punch line of so many jokes; just like the owner of that name.

            I was called, Quildo

            I was called Fatso

            I was called Dumb, Stupid and everything in between.

Quildo, a name that for some reason came into my life from my family. After freshman year started and Christmas was coming around, we had a family dinner and all of my family was sitting around a table talking about their year. As the night got shorter and the “beers” and “screwdrivers” got empty a lot was said about some of my aunt’s and uncle’s personal life that I shouldn’t have heard. It started off with some of the kid problems and how they wanted them out of the house, and that they need more time to themselves. Then from the back of the room, I hear my uncle that downed a thirty pack of beer just moments before saying, “time to yourself, you meantime to your toys.” Embarrassed, I left and as I walk past my uncle that would set of a breathalyzer from fifty feet away, he said were are you going “Quildo you can't handle talk about a dildo”. From there it spread like a disease that will reach every part of your life before it ends with you.

My name is my name, and it will be with me for the rest of my life. If I become a Doctor or a garbage man I will have this name. I have learned through the many years no name defines you, you define it. I chose a long time ago to go to Minnesota and with my last years of high school starting, I am going to become a Doctor and give the name Quillen a meaning of strength and self-respect. When high school ends I don’t want to be the boy they called “Quildo” I want to be someone with self-respect for me and strength to stand up for myself. To do that I have to redefine how I see myself and how others do. I find this new meaning a fresh slate to change my name for the better. My name is the same as a fresh washed marker board. I want to be Quillen, and defining my name is not the world’s job, it’s mine.