My Beautiful colors | Teen Ink

My Beautiful colors

July 24, 2018
By Anonymous

"Don't ever be afraid to show off your TRUE COLORS!"
I was only in 5th grade when I started to like a girl named Olivia, I wondered what this meant. I would be so curious, I would want to put my arm around her and try flirting with her, but I stopped because I thought it was weird. Over the years I tried to push away that thought because I didn't know what it meant. I got to middle school, I made new friends and so far didn't have a crush on anyone, but then 7th grade came and something happened. I met a girl named Jennifer, I had a crush on her. I started to identify my sexuality as Bisexual. I knew I was different since I was younger although I liked playing with dolls, I also liked playing with cars and legos. I asked her out and we dated for a week, after a while, I got tired of her so we just broke up and became close friends. I didn't date anyone till I made it into high school. I started having crushes on many more girls. I talked about having small crushes on guys with my mom, but never about girls because I felt as if it was wrong. I changed my facebook name to Danny and used a boyish profile picture. My mom found out and she had a mental break down, my parents forced me to change and told me it was wrong. I tried changing slowly, but I just couldn't. I felt like I disappointed my parents. I realized I couldn't change so what I did was hide my true self. Last year, I met a girl named Jasmine. We talked for a while and I got to know her very well, I went over to her house once to hang out. After a while of knowing each other, she would sleep over every weekend. It was great, but the relationship was toxic, I felt like we kept using each other because we had no one else to run to, so we would run back to each other, I didn't like that so I decided to cut it off. On June 24th, 2018 there was a pride parade in Chicago. That same day my family and I went down to Chicago to the beach. Once we got there I saw so many people wearing things that represented the Lgbt community and I was just so happy. When we were leaving I saw a lady selling LGBT flags and I begged my mom to buy me one and so she did, I was so thankful and so happy. I put that flag up in my room with pride. The next day I wrote my mom a very long paragraph explaining my sexuality. I texted her saying " I am bisexual. It may seem different to you, but trust me I am still the same person nothing has changed." I wrote much more stuff, but it is just too long. I took at least 3 hours deciding whether I wanted to send it or not. Finally, after having a whole argument by myself, I sent it, I was so nervous just waiting for her reply. After about 4 hours of waiting she sent a message, 2 minutes have passed by and I still didn't dare to open it. 30 minutes passed and finally had the guts to open the message that I have been waiting for, my hands shaking, and my eyes trying to focus all I read was "smh" (shaking my head). I thought to myself " Hmm not as bad as I expect, but does she support me? Ehh most likely." Ever since then we have been fine, like if nothing ever happened. I had an anxiety attack for no reason. I am finally free. I am who I am. I am not going to wait for anybody's approval, because this is who I want to be. I now wear my LGBT colors loud and proud everywhere I go. Bi pride <3


The author's comments:

I am Bi and proud!

Don't let anyone bring you down because you have different likes. 

We are all humans <3 

LGBT


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