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it's not that hard, once you think about it. but one the surface...
This is my 6th grade memoir. Enoughs happen already, so why not.
“ You know something I don't, don't you?” Matt asked me as we walked back down the hall back to class after getting the lap tops from the library. 4th grade, so innocent, so unaware.
“ Yeah, so?” I replied, nervous. He was onto me I knew it.
“ It bothers me, I wanna know.”
“ You heard me, guess.”
“ Fine then.”
you know he really shouldn't be pissing me off, but then again visa-versa.
“ Friends, the war, recess, like?”
I smiled but didn't have time to answer. Knowing every 4th grader in my class, they were eavesdroppers. So, the conversation silently ended as we entered the class.
I think we were both disappointed for the lack of answer. But I let it go and I assume he did so also.
A FEW WEEKS LATER...
“ Eli don't you dare.” I pleaded.
“ Try me!” Eli snickered.
YOU KNOW, THESE PEOPLE NEED TO STOP PISSING ME OFF-FA-FA.
“ Matt!!! I need to talk to you! Now!” Oh, I hope he stops soon. Were freaking 4 feet apart and hes yelling?!?! what the heck?!?!
“What do you want?” Matt asked, annoyed.
EVERYONE KNEW MATT DIDN'T EXACTLY, LIKE, ELI BACK THEN. FOR, OF CORSE, SPORTS REASONS. DID YOU EXPECT ANYTHING LESS?
“ I have some interesting information for you.”
“ Just tell me, would you?”
I WAS THINKING IN MY HEAD, WHY? WHY MUST HE RUIN MY LIFE IN 4TH GRADE? IM ONLY 10!
“ Sydnee likes you,”
I WAS SKARSTRUCK. I DIDN'T HAVE THE WILL TO LISTEN TO HIS ANSWER. I MELTED IN MY SEAT. I SILENTLY DIED IN FRONT OF MY BEST FRIEND, VIVIAN.
THE NEXT THING I KNEW IT WAS SNACK. THE DUDES, A.K.A, THE “ TATAER TOT CREW” I KNOW, RIGHT, WAS HAVING A DUDE TALK BEHIND THE CUBBY AREA. THERE NOT DISCRETE AT ALL, SO I KNEW THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT ME, PLANNING, PREPARING THE WORST. THEY MADE IT SOUND LIKE A A CODE RED OR SOMETHING. IT KILLED ME. SO, I DIED TWICE THAT DAY.
Okay, now were skipping to 5th grade.
I was having a pretty suckish day. I had just got out of morning meeting, and I was right next to my least favorite teacher, and I was about to have a Pythagorean test in math, that no one in my class got more than 1 question right on, so its kind of depressing. As I was leaving, I was talking to Madison, my best friend since second grade, when, my friend Justin stopped me.
“ Hey, Syd, I have a question to ask you.” He told me.
“ Shoot.” not sarcastically, of coarse.
“ Matt wants to know....if you'll go out with him.”
I HATE TO USE THE SAME EXPRESSION TWICE, BUT I WAS UTTERLY STARSTRUCK. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY LET ALONE TALK IN GENERAL. SO, I GOT SO EXITED I ACCIDENTALLY KICKED THE DOOR. YEAH, I'M DEFINITLY LITTE MISS GRACE, I KNOW. GOOD THING MATT WASNT WATCHING.
I mistered up enough energy to say yes, and Justin ran off. I was about done waiting when in my the second class, I finally told someone. About my first boyfriend. I was ecstatic. I had the rush, this sense on adrenalin, that I haven't experienced quite as str0ngly as then.
My dream was cut short, ending 2 freaking days later. I thought he was a royal jerk then. And I say then for reasons that I will not discuss in this memory, because it's not important yet.
3 moths and 2 tries later...
My adrenalin is rushing through my body faster than I could realize it. I felt his index finger, than his thumb, and before I knew it, he was holding my hand. He held it so tightly I thought he was never going to do it again. But I was okay. I knew it wouldn't be the last. I was standing there, feeling like never before. The rush, the same thing I felt the first time he asked me out, but a little less. A little vaguer, like it wasn't as important. It was like that song, “every time we touch” by Cascada, “every time we touch, I feel the static!” and I did. Literally. I got an electric shock through my fingers the exact moment he let go. Weird, isn't it?
As I was walking back I was bragging witch none of my friends really cared about anyway so I was free to babel as I pleased. I liked it. They didn't need to listen, they kind of knew what I was talking about but my friends aren't the most intent people in the book.
LETS SKIP ABOUT 3-4 MONTHS!
“Do it! Do it now!” the guy's screamed.
“ Think about it! Be careful for gods sake!” the girls screamed over the boys, but not by much. I didn't know who to listen to. I chose the boys. Good choice, me, props. * pats on the back * anyway, we hugged. Me and Matt that is. I know you readers, your probably silently going “ OOo, exiting” sarcastically in your room, or homeroom at school. But it rocked. I loved it. And my mom almost found out. In situations like that, I deny, deny, deny. That right there was advise from my cousin, Kailey. But then again, you probably don't care, do you.
Now were up to the last day of 5th grade. Its ironic, I'm ending the grade on chapter 5. 5th grade, 5. ha. Its not really funny, is it? I know.
But, anyway, we had just gotten back from Range Pond, a place in Maine, with school. We were walking across the playground to go back to class and my friend Kerriarna wanted a picture of the “Perfect Couple” witch we had been unhappily deemed at my school. First, we stood about a foot apart, being discreet. Then, she told us to come closer together. And we were, but the light wasn't right now, apparently. So we sat down on the bench behind us. At that moment, I almost died because of Matt for the third time ever. Huh, new record. But the reason is that of that he wrapped his arm around my waist to make me feel comfortable.
THE FIRST DAY OF 6TH GRADE. NOT SO TOUGH.
He wasn't talking to me, I was worried. So, I sent him a note, respecting his seeming request for distance. I don't know why he dared for distance, but oh well. The note said: WHY AREN'T YOU TALKING TO ME? He wrote back: I THOUGHT YOU WERE MAD AT ME. BECAUSE I DIDN'T CALL. He wasn't right. I wasn't mad I had forgotten myself.
Later in the year, about 3 months in, I realized that Matt and I would never be the same, mostly because we hadn't seen each other at 3 months at a time. It was deteriorating. We spent almost zero time together already so by then it was just indefinite. He has never kissed me. He kissed his ex. I feel like he liked her more. Like she mattered and I didn't. It was hell. I was hiding my depression under deep layers of fake but seemingly real happy. No one noticed.
But enough about that, I broke up with him. It crushed him, so obviously I meant more to Matt then I realized.
Not too long later, Matt got a facebook. I had become his friend and we were talking one day. We got to 2nd grade, when we met. But he was kind of jerk back then, so to me he was kind of trying to commend himself. He asked me “do you like who I am right now?” and I answered painfully honestly, “ I love you right now. I love you anyway.” he said, “ I Love You Too.” <<* made my freakin' day.* we were still broken up, so we didn't act on it. But he did do something that I thought was a little unfair. He broke up with his current girlfriend, Claudia. She's one of my best friends, you know. Matt thinks that I didn't tell anyone, but I told her. I needed too. She deserved that much.
Now were at current time. And I don't want it to be. I feel like theres something that I forgot, but theres nothing. At all. I'll tell you where we are. Were just friends now, for the longest time ever, since 5th grade. But I want us to be together, but if he docent want it. He hasn't for a while I think.
There isn't one. Because, nothing has happened. It pains me. I wrote 2 poems, got a journal, read a book. Just regular stuff. I'm probably boring you by now. So,
THE AUTHOR, SYDNEE.