I showed up.

I signed in.

I walked through the door and it slammed.

That was it, no turning around.

I walked down the hall,

and into a room.

A room full of windows,

a room full of sadness.

I sat in a chair and waited.

It was only a few moments,

but seemed like an eternity.

He walked in and sat down.

He sat right in front of me -

so close, yet so far away.

It hurt to see him like that.

I felt so helpless.

I had no power.

We talked about life,

but there wasn't much to say.

He asked how I was.

I lied.

"Fine" was all that came out.

"Me, too," he mumbled,

equally as untruthful.

It just wasn't the same -

not with him on one side,

and me on the other.

I really do miss him,

after all ... he is my big brother.