I feel like I knew him. It’s weird for me to say, but true enough. I let him into my home, into my life. He watched me from posters I hung up in my room (it sounds creepy, but it’s not), I watched him on my beloved TV show, Glee. He seemed amazing to me, so confident, and so real. That was the thing about Cory Monteith; he seemed real. There are so many celebrities out there that seem so completely fake to me, but not him. He seemed to be a genuinely happy guy. He had problems, but he fought them. That’s what I loved most about him; he never seemed to shy away from his problems, he faced them head on. He admitted to having a hard life, one that to me, seemed hopeless, but he never let it bring him down. He settled with his demons at rehab for the first time, but somehow, somewhere along the way, they found him again.
My friends say it’s dumb, stupid, pointless, to feel this way about the death of a celebrity. Yes, it’s true, I never knew Cory Monteith personally, but I knew him in so many other ways. I knew him as Finn, Glee’s all-American high school football player. I knew him as Cory, Lea Michele’s tall, handsome, goofy boyfriend. I knew him as the man who always seemed happy to meet people so invested in his work, in his life. I knew him as the guy who made himself known to the world for who he truly was. I knew him as a man of many masks. But I guess, it’s true that yes, I never knew the Cory Monteith his true friends, his family, and his gorgeous girlfriend knew. And yet, the sadness doesn’t seem to leave. The situation is still so unreal to me. It’s as if I can’t comprehend the finality of it. By not knowing someone personally, I think it makes it harder to accept and to realize that they’re gone. Perhaps Cory’s character, Finn’s death and memorial on the show, will make it all the more authentic. After all, I never knew the true Cory Monteith, I knew his characters, his smiles, his bravery and his words through interviews and through the masks he created for himself. But, he was a person, someone who was surrounded by people whom he loved and returned that love fully and sincerely. So, to them I say, I’m sorry for the loss of your dearest son, boyfriend, cousin, brother and friend. He will always be missed, forever loved, and never forgotten.