It started as a dark and stormy night. I know cliché right? Still, that’s how all of these stories start, some unknown narrator setting a dark and desolate scene that would play on our fears when we were little kids. Darkness. Storms. Why do we fear them? I mean, they are just facts of life. At nighttime, the Earth’s rotations put the side of the planet you’re standing on in the shadow of the sun, casting it in darkness for the duration of nighttime. During the winter, the time spent in darkness is even longer. Storms? Well storms are simply occasions when rising warm air combines with cooler air through a process of convection. Depending on certain factors, there are many different types of storms such as afternoon thunderstorms, large scale thunderstorms called squall lines, scattered thunderstorms, even mesoscale convective systems and tropical thunderstorms. Darkness and storms are simply ecological reactions that occur within nature as different factors and situations arise. So why do we fear them? Moreover, are they any less magical now that we know what causes them? Every day, I see someone who feels there is less magic in the world now that he knows the actions that lead to some sort of reaction. For instance, when he learned that the colors of a sunset are determined by the scattering of particles, which is determined by the wavelength of the particles being scattered, he lost all faith in the beauty of a sunset. Because there is more air for the particles to travel through at dusk, the blue and violet light is almost never seen in a sunset. This also explains why the sun is red, and the only colors are red, yellow, and orange; those colors have the correct wavelength to be able to be seen at those time periods of the day. When my friend found this out, he decided that there was no more magic in watching a sunset. The colors no longer evoked an emotional response from him, and that is one of the saddest things.

What is life but the sum of your experiences? Doesn’t that make life a completely subjective experience? Are there no Absolute Truths in this world if that is how you perceive life? How would one experience life if they no longer believed in the magic of it, like my friend? Are knowledge and feeling mutually exclusive in this situation? Can you believe in magic while still knowing each individual process that causes a reaction as beautiful as a sunset? I know my friend can’t. I don’t know if he physically can’t, or simply cognitively chooses not to feel anything anymore. What is the world if it isn’t the sum of our experiences? Is it wrong if life is subjective? Do there have to be any Absolute Truths? I suppose it is your choice to believe in what you want to believe. The great Buddha once said, “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.” Unless you agree with something, you shouldn’t hold that value; that is the definition of indoctrination and dogma. As rational beings, or should I say as beings with the capability of being rational, we have the inherent right, dare I say natural right, to change our mind based upon new evidence being presented. One shouldn’t be afraid to change their view; I could be the spokesperson on changing my view as I change mine quite frequently, or used to for all intents and purposes.

Don’t automatically assume there is only one type of person that does so; they are a multifaceted group of people with many different reasons for changing their opinion. However, though different they may be, there are basically two governing types: those that change based off logos, and those that change based off pathos. For those that don’t know, logos is Greek for logic and pathos is Greek for emotion. The first group is the correct way to change your views; it is the method I described above by reviewing the evidence and so on. The second group is that group that politicians try to win over to get re-elected: the people who blindly accept what is told them without reasonably thinking through the information and the logical fallacies. One example of this from four years ago would be the propaganda (and I use this example and that term not because I am a liberal but because it is the actual definition of the actions taken) that now-President Obama was a Muslim who wasn’t born in Hawaii and the demands to see his birth certificate. Now, hopefully this wasn’t started by some of his political opponents because they obviously didn’t understand the Full Faith and Credit clause of the U.S. Constitution, which I would hope dearly that they would know existed. If it was started by his political opponents, then that is just blatantly ridiculous. If our politicians, the people in charge of running our government and nation, don’t know what our Constitution, the “Supreme Law of the Land,” says, then we are in trouble. However, in the event, and likelihood, that this “argument” was started by the general public, it truly breaks my heart to see this. If this was the case, and again I hope it wasn’t but expect it was, then I am thoroughly ashamed to be a citizen of this nation and to be considered among the ranks of those people. Forgive this political tirade, but I finally understand why Alexander Hamilton and other Federalists supported the Electoral College.

But I digress. The point I am trying to make is that people do have the right to choose their views and positions, so long as it is based off reason and evidence. Pathos can be a reason, but it must be supplemented with logos or else it is worse off than before. So long as people choose their views and opinions due to reason and evidence, many problems in society could be addressed. Let me go back to my friend; he has the same political views as his parents. Is this bad? Of course not. Where does it say that children can’t have the same views as their parents? However, in this case, it is a problem because he chooses his opinions solely on the basis that his parents hold those same views. Let me repeat that: the problem isn’t that he holds the same views; it is that he does not have any reason or evidence for choosing those views the way he does. Again, he, like his parents, is Christian. It isn’t bad to be Christian. Let me repeat that: IT ISN’T BAD BEING A CHRISTIAN. There is nothing inherently wrong with being Christian. As a seeker myself, there is no reason for me to think so. However, the reason it is bad in this situation is because he doesn’t know why he is a Christian, he doesn’t even know if he believes in God, but he is a Christian and goes to church because his parents do so. Let me tell you something: as a previous atheist, agnostic, fascist, communist, nihilist, and self-proclaimed existentialist (and yes, I realize the irony in admitting to being all of that), I probably have more faith in God than he does. I recently read A Case for Faith by Lee Strobel, an interesting book regardless of which side of the line you fall on the question of God. It put to rest some of my doubts I was struggling with on my quest for God. I have chosen to believe there is a God by looking at the evidence of the arguments on both sides and then picking the side I felt most succinctly put to rest my doubts. I hope one does not read this and think I am trying to persuade them to be a liberal or to believe in God; in fact, it’s quite the opposite. I want people to question their life, their surroundings. I want them to question their faith and their values. I want them to question everything. I also want them to not throw a perspective away simply because it isn’t similar to theirs. Only through diversity is true strength found. Only through doubt can faith be found. Only through questions can answers be found.

After two pages of political and religious tirade, I bet you’re stuck wondering how the beginning of this writing relates. Well, there is another thing I want you to take away from this. There is magic in the world. Unlike my friend, when I see a sunset, I stop and gaze at the beauty of it and revel in the magic of the pinks and reds and yellows and oranges as they cast their glow on my skin and my surroundings. Unlike my friend, when there is a thunderstorm, I don’t curse the rain and go inside and watch television or some other activity. I go outside and sit on my porch, listening to the rain as the drops hit my rooftop, or feel the thunder as the sound reverberates through my bones, or gaze at the awe inspiring destructive force of the lightning as it shoots across the sky. Unlike my friend, I don’t turn on a light when it gets dark to see my surroundings. I wait for myself to adjust to nature and I revel in the peace and quiet that accompanies the darkness. Those dark and stormy nights are just proof that there is magic in this world that can only be appreciated through the cognition that it is there. If just one person walks away from this thinking “I want to appreciate the world in this way” my work will have been done. Yes, there are many different ways to live life. I don’t believe this is the one way to live life. However, I do believe that this is the way my life should be lived, and this is how I’m going to live my life. By living this way, I am happy.

What is happiness? Doubtlessly, philosophers and everyday people have struggled with this question. Is it possible that the answer is found in nature? Is it possible the answer is found in the possibility of subjective experience? I don’t know. Will anybody ever know? Again, I don’t know. That’s ok; I am ok with not knowing. There are certain things people will possibly never know. For instance, people can never know God exists. I believe God exists, and that is the extent of my knowledge. I know enough to believe in God’s existence. Personally, I believe it is His will as He gives us a choice to believe in Him. But the fact remains, it is faith and belief and we cannot know if God exists. There are things we cannot know in this universe. Is it bad that we don’t know these things? I don’t believe so. But, say, hypothetically, we do figure out the mysteries of the universe and know everything about where we came from and the beginning of the universe. Does that make it any less magical? Does our understanding of the Big Bang or of the existence of evolution make life any less magical? I don’t think so. I don’t know many things, but I do know I’m happy and I know what makes me happy.

I’m poor. I don’t have many material items. To most people, this would translate to me being unhappy. However, I am the happiest I’ve been in over a decade. Why? Because, for me, the basis of happiness is not a measure of wealth but instead a measure of being content. For the first time in over a decade, I have been able to feel connected to my friends and peers. For me, being happy is spending time with friends. Being happy is knowing that I matter to somebody in this world. Through these connections I have been able to not feel alone anymore, a truly amazing feeling. Happiness isn’t something you can buy, though you can be happy with money. Instead, happiness is something you find. Imagine a puzzle with one piece missing; happiness is that last piece to life. In order to be happy, truly happy, you must be happy on an existentialist level. You must be happy and fulfilled to your soul. You must truly find that last puzzle piece, not try to fill it with pieces that don’t match the hole. Until you find that last puzzle piece called happiness, true, existential happiness, then you will never live a fulfilled life. But perhaps, this is just life as seen by a naïve eighteen year old with little “real world” experience. To me, happiness is just feeling connected. Perhaps to somebody else, happiness is having money, is having that new house, or is having a sports car. I can’t know. Perhaps that actually does fulfill that person existentially, at which point I completely agree with those actions. The point is the last puzzle piece of life cannot be manufactured, cannot be bought, but instead must be found. True happiness can only be found, and it varies with each individual.

Each individual is different, and as such the methods of finding happiness will be different. I’m not an expert on finding happiness. Actually, I’m probably the closest thing to a novice that exists, if I’m not a novice. However, I can at least try to explain my journey in hopes it may provide some answer. For years, I had felt disconnected to everyone around me. In fact, I was probably a large part in creating that disconnection because I was so miserable in my existence I avoided people whenever I could. I didn’t know how to talk to my “peers” and it was extremely awkward for me to engage in any social interaction. At first, I wasn’t bothered by it; I found solace and peace in being disconnected from the drama others went through. Sounds great, being away from all the drama, not having to deal with it? That’s what I thought at least, until that peace and quiet turned into a double-edged sword. My self-imposed isolation had cut me; I couldn’t talk to my “peers” and I had no real friends. Cut forward two years into my sophomore year, and the problem had only gotten worse. I never went to a therapist or anything, so I’m hesitant to say I was depressed, but I think that best captures my mood during this time. I was cynical, pessimistic, nihilistic, probably depressed, and overall just a bad person to be around. I was always cognitively aware of my attitude and was sickened by it, which only made the whole situation worse. I contemplated suicide; luckily, my megalomania saved me from trying anything. I never thought I would say it, but I’m glad I was so egoistic. Anyways, junior year of high-school rolled around and flipped everything I ever thought upside down and I didn’t know what to believe in. I was lost. Somehow, in my despair and confusion, two people found me and helped me through my time of trouble and, although I won’t name them, they should know who they are. These two people, very near and dear friends of mine, have allowed me to create connections with the rest of my peers, have allowed me to find myself and who I truly am, and have allowed me to be happy.

My point is that although I was poor, and still am poor, these connections with my peers have allowed me to be happy. I wasn’t craving wealth, I still don’t; I was craving social interaction. Throughout my whole experience, I was cognitively aware of what I wanted, yet I couldn’t have it. As many programs say, the first step to solving a problem is to acknowledge you have a problem and what the problem is. Once this is done, you are on the journey of a thousand steps. It will be a long, hard journey, as are all journeys that have a meaningful goal, but it will be well worth it. Happiness is what we, as individuals, define it as. What you must do is to simply define what happiness is to yourself and then acknowledge why you are unhappy. After that, the journey has begun and it is up to you to become happy.

In nearly all instances of unhappiness, pain is the main obstacle to happiness. There are those people in life that believe there is only pain in living. I disagree; yes, very recently I would have agreed and even been the forerunner of the idea. I was so involved in my self-imposed strife that I couldn’t look at the situation in a positive or objective manner. I feel it is similar to a situation called salience. Salience, if one doesn’t know, is similar to what happens after buying a new vehicle. If you or your family has ever bought a new vehicle, or even looked around to buy a new vehicle, and then suddenly noticed how many of those cars are around you, you have experienced salience. Essentially, it’s the idea that after noticing something, one starts to notice that specific object more throughout their lives. When one feels pain, especially if they view it as a negative experience, they start to notice it throughout all aspects of their life. The problem is that the experience of salience with regards to pain inflates the negative aspects of pain disproportionally to the actual levels of pain in life. It takes an objective perspective, one perspective outside of the realm of the experiences, to truly judge whether the pain is all encompassing or not. You cannot escape pain; it is present in all walks of life. Our society, any and every society, is not a utopian society. This is not a new concept and many would not disagree with that statement. However, that does raise one important question: if pain encompasses all walks of life, how can one truly have an objective perspective towards pain? I guess the simple answer would be that nobody will have an objective perspective with regards to pain. However, does one truly need an objective perspective of pain to see the sun when exiting the cave or to be an optimist and see the good in life?

If you look throughout this paper, you, with no uncertainty, will see that I see the world as a completely subjective experience. I don’t believe there is any absolute truth or absolute experience commonplace to all humans and that there will be none. I do believe that if there were objective experiences, experiences common to all men, then life would be a whole heck of a lot simpler. However, though it may be true in some cases, in life simpler does not equate to better. Life is a sum of experiences, such as the viewing of a sunset or watching a thunderstorm. Taken together, that is but one perspective of billions throughout the world, each an individual and unique perspective inherently my own. My experience of pain in my life is a positive good; in fact, I view everything that has happened to me as a good thing. I was asked recently in French class to write about a few things I would change in my life. As I sat there thinking about the prompt, I realized that there would be no things in my life I would change. Even the self-imposed isolation and subsequent suicidal thoughts served a purpose in my life: it led me down a path I had not travelled in my life and made me the man I am today. The irony is that I had to experience those feelings and thoughts, and at the time I had no intention of living to see adulthood. Because of this, I urge people feeling that way about life to try and consider my perspective that those experiences are temporary or at least serve a greater purpose. I realize the difficulty in this, but I do feel it is the best course in those situations. Life is a magical thing, and it would be a shame to see it lost in such a manner.

So what is life? Finally, the question of the hour. If your quick, you may notice I have frequently said that life is simply subjective experience. However, this is just my perspective and it is only true for me. I believe this question cannot be answered by anyone, much less an eighteen year old from Montana. But…I don’t think it has to be. Would knowing the answer make life any more magical? Would knowing the answer change how you appreciate life? Would knowing the answer make life any easier? Different people throughout all of time have put special meaning into life; have answered the question with answers of grandeur and morality. They have insisted man must have a greater purpose than simply living. But isn’t living the greatest purpose of anything? Can’t life simply be life, without attaching any special meaning to it? It is up to each individual person to decide what life is, and no one person can answer for an entire race. Though you may not be interested in my personal views, I see life as merely biological functions performed by microscopic organisms in unison to create the cognitive being we call humans. Does that make life any less special? No. I know how I think what I do, I know how my hair grows, and I know that one day I will eventually die when my life functions cease to operate. However, because I realize this, I am able to live more, not less. Life doesn’t live under the shadow of death. Because I realize my life is finite and at one point, whenever it may be, it will be over, I am able to see life in a whole new perspective. I won’t force anybody else to believe this, but I will ask people to at least try to see life in this light. It is my belief that only by living life, by questioning things, by thinking about things, can life be worth living. To quote a great philosopher, “the unexamined life is not worth living.” Whatever, your choice may be, I pray that it is made in the name of critical thought and reason, rather than irrationality and emotion. It is your life to live, your choices to make, that will define who you are. We are all individuals to make our own choices. If it seems like I am trying to tell you to be a liberal, or a Christian, or an existentialist, that was never my intention and I am sorry. If it seems like I am forcing my way of thinking upon you, that was never my intention and I am sorry. My goal was to merely present a new perspective, or at least my perspective, of what makes life worth living. If any of what I have said rings true to your soul, please incorporate it. If you disagree with anything, disregard that. But please, at the very least, examine your life and try to be happy. This is all I ask.

Sincerely,

An Individual