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A Gift Refused
I smile up at the eyes of my daddy, his face beams down with joy at me,
His perfect creation. My mind can not comprehend all of what he feels for me, but I do know that as long as I am in his arms, I am safe, and I know, that I love him.
For he is a being so pure, and innocent, that you can not help but love him. He is more than just my daddy. He is the daddy of the world. I am cradled in the palm of his hand,
And he holds the world in the other. I do not fear, for everything I could ever need he will provide.
Suddenly, his face starts to fade, and I am trapped in a dark area, I do not know where I am, or how I got here, I just know that my daddy would not allow me to come here unless he knew I would be safe, so I would be safe here.
I did not know the feeling of betrayal, trust and love was all I knew. And because of his love, I trusted him.
couldnt’t move, my movements that had been so active, and easy in heaven, suddenly were halted, and even mostly put to a stop.
Daddy! I cried out into my open mind.
Child, do not fear. You have entered a new place, but you are still safe. I am with you. I looked around, but could see no one. Besides, woulddn’t fit in this place anyways.
Where are you daddy?
I am in you. He said. Maybe you think this is too complex for an infant mind to understand, but I understood it probably more than you could.
You trust things more, when you still have the memory of Him. His presence was all I needed to feel to believe.
Keep me safe daddy. I thought, praying for the first time.
You will always be safe in me child. He replied back.
He told me how this journey would be long and hard, but he promised wouldd be beside me through all of it.
And that was all I needed to feel okay.
Where am I going daddy? I asked.
You are going to another home for now; you are going to live in the world.
My spirit dimmed the world? But…I don’t want to live in the world. All that I need was in heaven, with You. Why must I go there?
Because child, I have big plans for you waiting there, the world needs you.
It was strange to think about that. I was a helpless infant. How could the world need someone who couldn’t even move?
But I trusted him, okay God; I will do this for you. But will you stay with me? I can’t do this alone.
I promise, I will always be with you.
I felt more at peace after that promise. Maybe things would start getting harder, maybe I would have to grow up, and start learning how to handle difficulties, but I could do it. My daddy had my back.
It was like this that I went through my journey of growing, day by day entertaining myself by talking to Jesus, and also delighting as bit by bit, I regained my movements.
Daddy I called out, but he did not answer.
Daddy, where are you? I started to get worried; he had never failed to answer my call!
Are you too busy for me daddy? Do you not care anymore? It felt horrible, it felt like he might heart me, but he just refused to answer.
I had never known what that felt like, the feeling of having no one there.
Daddy! I called out one last time in desperation. I felt betrayed, he said wouldd always be here, but now wouldd not answer me.
Child, do not be afraid, would I break a promise? I am still here, when you question I will answer, but my answer will be in my time. Not yours.
Okay daddy. I felt foolish for growing so afraid, but His not answering had never happened before, I didn’t know how to react, I didn’t know what to do. For the first time in my life, I had felt alone.
You will never be completely alone child. Trust me.
I did not question him any further, what he said I believed. I had doubted him, but never again would that happen.
At times as I was growing, I didn’t talk to him so often, sometimes completely stopping conversation, but I would always go back to him.
Daddy, how much longer must I stay here?
Not long child, not long.
I still do not want to go to the world daddy.
I know child, but you are brave to go anyways.
I would not go if I did not have your help daddy. Thank you for going through this with me.
Your journey is far closer to being over than you think child. He said, a comforting sentence, but it seemed almost sad coming from him.
Why does that upset you daddy?
Not a matter that you should be troubled with at all young one,
Just know that someday very soon you may be on my lap again.
I was confused, but I did not question. I trusted my daddy to take care of it; I did not need to worry.
I had been told to go to the world and I was going. Daddy, I feel strange, something is hurting me daddy! I felt like I heard him sigh in sadness. Daddy! What is going on? Help me daddy, this hurts worse than anything I have ever felt, I... But my sentence was cut short by the pain, and suddenly, I found myself back on his lap.
Daddy, something strange has happened. I was somewhere else, a dark place, and then it hurt, pain like I’ve never felt before… What happened daddy?
I looked into his face, trying to get a hint of what had happened, nothing that you need to be troubled about little one, let's just call it a bad dream. A very bad dream…
But you said you were sending me to the world daddy, am I going to the world?
No Child, the world has refused my blessing.
What would’ve happened if I had made it to the world Daddy?
Child, a very wise man on earth once said, “we can never know what would’ve happened.”
The world has refused the gift I was trying to give them. You are not the first, and doubtlessly not the last gift they will ignore. He said with sadness in his voice.
My heart broke, not for myself, but for the world down there, that was so twisted as to refuse a gift from my daddy. I just knew if they only knew His love like I did, they would accept any blessing he gave them without the least argument.
My heart broke, because they didn’t know His love like I did, they had forgotten Him.
You’ve forgotten Him. My daddy is here, and His love and blessings are raining down on you everyday, but you have to accept them.