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Divorce and Its Effects
In America today most people believe divorce is a bad thing, and that we should take steps against it. These steps would slow divorce down and make it harder for people to divorce. Especially for the married couples who have a child, or children together. While others argue that divorce has benefits for children (Second thoughts on divorce par.1.) Now that divorce has been concerted a hot topic or a growing problem many people have been collecting facts for or against it. The biggests supporting fact for the people who are against divorce, is that children of divorce have a higher rate of being suicidal than children with both parents. ( "Parents' Divorce May Contribute to Suicidal Thoughts Years Later par.3.) Although it is proven that children of a divorce have a higher suicide rate. That rate doesn’t even come close to the growing rate of children going suicidal from living in an abusive home or having an abusive family. Just think parent one and their child is being beaten either verbally or physically by parent two. They have no money and no other place to go so, they feel trapped enough already. Then the government or the state tells them they have to wait nine months before the divorce to think about what's really best for their child. Unless the problem is both parents then the child needs to be removed immediately. On the other hand there are other children who have parents who only argue sometimes because the feeling of love is absent between them. These are the kids who love both parents very much and suffer more emotionally, educationally, and become physically weak after their parents divorce. Does divorce play a part in young suicide? How does divorce benefit the children ?
Divorce long ago was only obtained by men in most cultures and throughout many counties (“Divorce” par.1). Women were still considered property in early rome, but a man could only divorce his wife. If she was found guilty for drinking wine or leaving the house without a veil (“Divorce”par.2). After the divorce child custody was opened to decision, normally the women would take the daughter and the father would keep the son. Jewish women could by law go seek a divorce in court. While the jewish men could decree the divorce to their wives, and it would immediately dissolve their marriage. Christians were at odds about divorce, but most agreed with St.Augustine that marriage was and should remain unbreakable. Though many others thought divorce and separation was far better than the alternative, to murder one’s spouse to be free.
In the early twenties divorce became more common(“Divorce”par.3.) Then very slowly divorce became a social Issue or something normally talked about. This was due to the slowly rise of married couples getting divorced. The National Center for Health Statistics started to collect facts. These facts included the divorce rate of that time which was 6.8% out of 1000. They discovered that almost 75% of divorcees remarry. That surprisingly if you live with your spouse before marriage you have a 60% of divorce. If you or your spouse has kids that are from a prior marriage when you get remarried your divorce rate is 65% higher than normal, and many don’t even last two years.
In 2015 divorce became legal in every country but the phillipines (“Divorce”par.1). The philippines held strictly to their anti divorce beliefs or the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church. To the Catholic Church surprise Pope Francis declared that year that divorced and remarried Catholics should not be shunned, but be treated as full members of the Catholic body. Although the protest in the Eastern Rite churches would lead to many more debates of divorce, within the Catholic church.
PRO: THE BENEFITS OF DIVORCE FOR THE CHILDREN INVOLVED
Before the divorce the parents are normally angry with each other which makes the child or children involved uneasy or miserable. When the child or children see their former parent and their present parent happy and getting along as separate individuals or as friends after the divorce they’ll be happier. (“Divorce And Kids: 5 Ways Divorce Benefits Kids” 1)
Before the parents separated tension is built up in the house from them being angry at each other. After the parents are separated the tension in the house from the fighting, arguing, or ect.. will fade. This will benefit the children, because children are like sponges or they tend to absorb the feelings around them. Therefore after the tension is gone most will have a good behavior change.(“Divorce And Kids: 5 Ways Divorce Benefits Kids” 2)
When a parent gets divorced from an unhealthy marriage they are being a good model for their child or children. Most parents especially mothers tend to stay in an unhealthy marriage or relationship and tell themselves that it’s “ For the kids” (“Divorce And Kids: 5 Ways Divorce Benefits Kids” 3). Although that's not true their kids will suffer at least three times more than the children who only have one parent after a divorce and will never see the other one again. Those parents would tell themselves that “it’s for the kids” are either are too weak to fight back against their abusive spouse, feel trapped / are trapped no money or house to go to. That not true because there are places that will help beaten or abused parents, expectually ones with children. Or the most common they think they're the problem and deserve to be yelled at or ect…,but do the children? No they don’t so be a parent, grow a pair get divorce and show your kids that it's ok to want to be happy. Show them is ok to want to have a happy marriage vs staying in an unhealthy one and being beat and feeling missable for the rest of their lives.
In a shared custody the child has both parents and gets to see them though one normally takes on most of the nurturing or logistical planning. The child/children in shared custody gets each the parent's full attention with the time they have together (“Divorce And Kids: 5 Ways Divorce Benefits Kids” 4)
Whether or not their parent gets a new partner or stays a single pringle doesn’t really matter. The best thing for a child is to see their main parent happy. It doesn’t matter if your joyful and independent or in a new and positive relationship happy parent happy equals child.(“Divorce And Kids: 5 Ways Divorce Benefits Kids” 5)
Double Christmas. Unlike all of the normal kids who finish opening there presents at 10pm a child of divorce in a shared custody have only been through one round now it's time for round two.
Parent one vs parent two. Let’s say that all the divorced child’s friends are skipping school to go to an amusement park. They know that their mother won’t let them go so they call their father. Of course their father calls there mother and finds out that she said no. The father will then most likely say yes to gain the favor of the child.
Step siblings. A child of divorce with one or both remarried parents with kids gets stepsiblings. Stepsiblings mostly will offer the same support normal siblings would. Runaway. Children of a shared custody divorce who have a blow up with one parent and want to runaway can just go visit or live with the other one inside of living on the streets.
CONS: HOW DIVORCE IS BAD FOR CHILDREN
Children from a divorce can be labeled by other children and adults after a divorce like there goes the daughter of that w**** or the bastard of that man and so on…("Children From Divorced Parents Marginalised." par 3.) Children from a divorced lack compassion from society unlike those who are unwanted by both parents or orphans who attract it (2.) Most children of divorce get thrown between parents(3), for the younger one is difficult for them to handle.
Male children of a divorce are 83% more likely to consider suicide as young teens or adults ("Parents' Divorce May Contribute to Suicidal Thoughts Years Later” par.3) The children of a divorce as a whole is three times more likely to seriously consider suicide as adults than normal children or adults. Male children's stressors are linked to the physical abuse, parental addiction, and unemployment of one or both parents during or after the divorce(4). Male children of divorce are more likely to be abusive to their spouse and have a divorce of their own.
Female children of a divorce tend to have, anxiety, turn inward and become very depressed. (Bower, Bruce par. 2)The depression felt by these female child can stay with them their whole life without medical or psychological help. Children of divorce have higher behavior problems and lower grades than normal children.
MY STANCE:DIVORCE IS GOOD FOR CHILDREN
Most people think that divorce traumatizes their children, and there right. My strong belief is that children will suffer more if there in an abusive home vs going through a divorce. On the good side divorce frees the parents of each other and the child from the negative atmosphere of the clashing spouses. What's better than one christmas? Two christmases. They get Stepsiblings and most of the time they come with the bonus of hardly seeing them or the chance to get away from them unlike with normal siblings. They could use their parents against each other two get what they want. If they’re in trouble with one or has just had enough of them and want to get away they can go to the other parent's house. Although most kids blame themselves for their parents splitting after a divorce. I think that it’s better than a child taking the blame for a parent or a mother getting beaten or worse, because they know that their mom’s still with their dad because she wants her child to grow up with two parents. Or worse the child is getting beaten or worse because their parent feels trapped with the other one because of them. These children are even lower in self esteem and have many more thoughts of suicide to just end it all then those few with divorced parents.
Divorce could be good or bad it all depends on the child. Their relationship with their parents or each parent, and the home life. Or how their parents get along at home with each other and their child at home. Divorce is more common in america than anywhere else. This means that there are a lot of children being affected due to their parents not getting along and getting a divorce. Young children of divorce often personalise the divorce as “my divorce” and are affected badly when a parent leaves. This could be helped by talking about why the other parent left or trying to be friends/ act like friends after the divorce. The majority feel alone. That’s why schools now offer counseling. There are also groups being created to help young children and teens who need to cope by talking about their recent divorce which last from three weeks to three months. Divorce is said to and can be proven to have a strong tie to young male teens and adult suicide. If you try to look for a link with females though there will be no correlation. Divorce helps more kids than it hurts and saves hurting parents and their children from staying in a bad place.