Undefining Myself | Teen Ink

Undefining Myself

April 8, 2015
By TrixLovegood PLATINUM, Lisboa, Other
TrixLovegood PLATINUM, Lisboa, Other
25 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
“A room without books is like a body without a soul.”
― Cicero


What defines humanity? Between school, physiotherapy (for my back problem, nothing serious), a member of an agitated family and a present friend of a group of the craziest girls, it is often difficult to define who I am. I am a reader. I am a literature lover. I am a writer. I am a dreamer. But what do these traits, along with all the outside influences, say about me?

This question has haunted me as I must decide what subjects I want to take to go to university this year. I considered business. I considered marketing. I considered medicine. (Oh medicine! If only I could dissect a rat for once. After all these years forcing myself to look at the surgery scenes of Grey’s Anatomy, to my greatest disappointment, I’m still unable to witness to a dissection). I considered History. I considered la- No, never mind. I never considered law, my mother did. Yet, in all of these considerations I decided I wanted literature (and drama) although the latter is still being established in my family’s and friend’s minds.

But, does this choice define me? Does this choice say something about who I am? My school is highly focused on sciences and maths and most of my teachers and friends don’t believe there is future for those who study Liberal Arts. “Have you considered your options in the future, Beatriz?” asked me a friend of mine the other day, looking down at me as if she pitied my choice. Those who go to Languages and Arts are often seen as lazy or futureless. We are defined as the ones who are not going to have a successful career like the doctors and the lawyers will. We are defined as the kids who are not bright enough to be good at maths or intelligent enough to see that there is no future ahead of us. This is how I am often seen.

All choices should be respected, all choices are made for a reason. I may suck at maths, but I am passionate about Shakespeare and I can discuss the meaning for his mysterious metaphors for hours without end. My friend may not enjoy writing a poem analysis, but she loves the business world. These choices are part of us but they are not us. They do not define us because, who says we have a definition? (yeah, I know I probably put Selena Gomez’s song in your head now, sorry) I’ve thought about this matter quite a lot as I believe each on of us is a different individual crucial to society. Each one of us are pieces of this big jigsaw that we call humanity. We all have our lives and values and me, as a teenager, struggle to define and develop them every day. Still, at the end of the day I don’t think any of us can be defined.

An uncle of mine the other day told me, “Everyone has three lives: the public one, which everyone around them knows. The private one, which only the closest friends and family know. And a secret one, which no one will ever know.” Each of these lives will most likely tell something different about you, good or bad. So I’m going to stop looking for a definition and start finding a propose for who I am, who I want to be and how I want to be it. There’s that eternal cliché that “nobody’s perfect” but it’s true, we all have our marks and flaws, we all have doubts and do not always do the right thing but these acts do not tell who we are, they only prove what most of us think it’s obvious, but once they are asked the question that kicked off this post they are speechless. Well, I believe imperfection is what defines humanity and flaws, only prove we’re human not the opposite.

Definitions may seem like an easy way to reach full understanding of ourselves but they’re just thoughts and impressions people have of you. No one has the same and no one has the right one, not even yourself. So stop defining yourself and let your personality be shaped and changed, let yourself think happy thoughts and sad ones. Be reflective, be creative, be you. I have been trying to teach this lesson to myself for a while now and I’m learning. Life is a steep mountain and with every step I try not to trip, with every step I try to breathe, with every step, I try to live.



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