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I Lost Him Forever
I loved him with all my forces, and losing him made me weak. I was the car he was fuel, I has the leaf he was the rose.
Every day when I walked out of school there he was, waiting for me, my father. Always complaining that I was the last one out of class.
He was my everything, the person whom I wanted to watch me grow up, the person who told me off when I misbehaved, the person that always forgave my mistakes. The person that promised to be there forever and ever.
Four years have gone past, is he here? No. He broke he s promise and that makes me feel me mad at him, how could he live me without a warning, a word, or a sound. But knowing that he forgave me so many times, made me forgive him too, I guess I owed him that.
Before he died I was afraid of death, I was a innocent child scared of death just like the others. But know, I’m not scared anymore because I know if I die today or tomorrow it won’t matter, I know he will be there waiting for me, to say that sorry that I have waited all my life for, sorry for breaking that promise.
The promise, that meant so much to me, more than living.
I know write to you, these words are yours.
When I look at the sky I see you. When Im dreaming I see you. When my heart hurts I think of you, I wish you knew that I love you more than anything in this world and that losing you was worse than losing anything else. These words were all for you, my world, my universe, my everything.
He made me happy, made me smile, made me not lonely. And without that’s what I am know im nothing.
When I remember his smile, his laughter, makes me wonder if I could’ve made him smile and laugh more. Why did he leave, when I had so much more to tell him.
When I saw my mum coming towards me crying, I didn’t know what was going on. She sat down trying to speak but the pain was so much that the words didn’t come out.
The moment they finally did. I knew it all, you were gone, and there was nothing I could do or say to change that.
My sister started crying straight away I didn’t. I laughed. I couldn’t believe that you were gone, not until I saw around me and nobody was smiling there was nothing but tears and sadness.
Once I arrived home that devastating day, I looked everywhere looking for you, I still wasn’t convinced. I felt something telling me that you were there, hiding waiting for me, jumping out of a wardrobe saying booo.
Nothing, he wasn’t there. I guess I knew that the moment the truth came out to me, I just didn’t want to believe the thought of losing you made me want to kill myself.
I was then that moment, I let out a blood curdling scream, falling onto my knees then onto my chest onto the cold hard floor, crying incessantly. Pressing my hand on my heart, I felt like it was burning. That’s why inside of me there s nothing left but ashes.
It was then that I realized you weren’t going to come back, and that the only thing that it was left for me to do was to learn how to live without you, my everything.