Battleground | Teen Ink


June 29, 2012
By CrystalClear99 BRONZE, Newark, Delaware
CrystalClear99 BRONZE, Newark, Delaware
3 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
You never know what you have, until it's gone. -Unknown

Boys, boys, boys! We are always thinking about boys. But what do they think about us? What do they keep concealed behind the I Love You’s and the Hearts in their text messages? Some guys are extremely sweet. Some guys are quiet and mysterious. But hidden behind those guys, hides the total jerk who thinks completely with his…well you know. Boys, ahem, the jerks have their game plan in sports but when it comes to love and relationships, they have only one goal; get everything they can from us. Us girls have no plan, no backup! We go with the flow; forgive and forget. We need our own game plan. We need to come up with a strategy for the problems that hit us in our relationships. If we follow some of these tips we could build up our side of defense and attack perfectly if need be.

First we need to go through the different types of guys.
The Sweetheart: He comes off as oh so sweet, charming, and innocent. Your parents will love him but your friends will be unsure about him. Most sweet hearted guys are truly sweethearts looking for the one they can love, their other half. Sometimes there is a dark side though. It’s sad to say but some guys fake being sweet. They pretend to be sweet to get the girl then, without warning, they attack.

The Flirt: He gets around a lot. Swaying all the girls’ opinions and thoughts, he has everyone in the palm of his hand. Girls adore and love him. He makes everyone feel good. Compliments are thrown out to everyone but some girls are left out. He picks and chooses, dropping girls along the way. Favorites are chosen and people start to fight over him.

The Self-Centered Bro: “Look at these abs!” “I’m the best!” “Man! Did you see me at my football game the other night? I was beast!” He brags and brags about how amazing he is. Give it up for the Self-Centered Bro. No need to applaud for him, he applauds for himself already. This guy is completely into himself. He never gives the girl time. If the girl tries to say something she’s accomplished she gets ignored or scolded by this guy and called self-centered. The girl is put down and loses self-esteem.

The Mind-Screwer: “You are so beautiful! Everything about you is perfect.” Later that day… “You need a bigger chest. You should look like that girl over there.” Hello self-esteem and now goodbye! This guy plays with the girl’s emotions and self-esteem. He builds up how the girl feels toward herself then tears it down. He continually does this until the girl has zero confidence left. The girl ends up feeling bad about herself and could end up cutting, have an eating disorder, or even worse; committing suicide.

The Player: Nothing could be worse than a screwy player! He asks out a girl then messes with her emotions and self-esteem. He toys with the girl until he finds another. This guy cheats on his girlfriends. If asked what he has been up to with other girls he denies everything and lies. Lies are spread the whole time and the girl usually finds out after the fact that the guy has cheated on her.

The Controller: Say hello to Mr. Boss. He loves to make the girl do everything he wants, even if they aren’t going out. This guy is the hardest to get away from. He controls who the girl hangs out with, who she talks to, and what her beliefs are. Boundaries are broken because of him and the girl is left feeling scared and worried about what the guy will do next. This guy gets everything he wants because he knows the girl is scared of him and scared to lose him.

All these types of guys love making the girl feel bad. We need to turn it around and make them feel bad. We need to pump ourselves up and say, “I’m beautiful. You’re just a complete jerk.” Now that we know the types of guys, we need to plan our strategy for the relationship battlefield. Here’s our game plan so we can win and be victorious.
A relationship should be 50/50. Both the guy and the girl should have control. The relationship should NOT be 90/10. No way. Both the guy and the girl are equal and that needs to be made clear. The guy automatically thinks that since he is male, he is superior. Again, no way. 50% should be for the guy and 50% should be for the girl. The girl should be able to make choices, not just the guy. If the relationship is not 50/50 the best thing to do is BREAK UP with him. He obviously does not understand that a girl should be treated with respect.

Honesty is really the best policy. If honesty is not in the relationship then the relationship will fall apart. Both the guy and the girl need to be honest. If something feels weird about the relationship, ask him if he is doing anything dumb. He may lie or he may be honest. If he does lie, make a plan to go and find a friend who could talk to him OR trick him into telling the truth.

Set boundaries! The girl should never allow the guy to walk all over her. If she does, he will think he has permission to always do it. Let the guy know how you feel. Put your ideas and thoughts out there. If he doesn’t listen and ignores these boundaries, then the girl needs to get away fast because he could try other stuff in the future.

The author's comments:
Us girls are always confused on how to deal with problems in our relationships. This is how to deal with our guys that get out of hand. Our own little game plan for the Relationship Battleground.

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