Feedback On The Tunnel by Max Firehammer | TeenInk

Feedback On The Tunnel by Max Firehammer

October 7, 2015
By PotatoKing SILVER, NYC, New York
PotatoKing SILVER, NYC, New York
9 articles 0 photos 1 comment

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      The horror piece The Tunnel by Max Firehammer is a brilliant piece that matches the mood of Halloween perfectly. It is about three friends, Danny, Cammeron and Audrey that decided to go on an adventure that led to their demise and ending. It is written in third person limited that only can see into Danny's thoughts. Danny's parents were out of town on vacation and Audrey had just picked him up. After picking up Cameron, they all went into a small clearing with a tunnel. As they entered the tunnel, they heard what seemed to be a small child eerily calling, "Mommy." As they walked through the hideous tunnel, as water dripped from the ceiling, the voice a smell grew stronger and stronger. As they rounded a corner, they saw a skinny, hairless dog with eyes so tiny they were red pinpricks. To their horror, it cried, "Mommy." Audrey screamed and their flashlights died, Danny fainted and woke up being questioned by the police. Audrey and Cameron were reported missing and Danny couldn't forget what happened that day. Years later, the dog came again, Danny whispered, "Please let me forget."

       This is  a wonderful horror piece and gave me the chills even though I was reading it in broad daylight with a dozen kids in my class. This is so eloquently written that I felt as if I were there and when Danny saw the dog, i flinched as if i saw it myself. At the end of this short story, i sympathized with Danny and wished for him to forget what had happened that day. If I were to be there, i would have ran back as soon as I heard the voice, it took much courage for them to continue through the tunnel to only be rewarded with death. On extremely lifelike part was when they described the dog. "Standing just around the bend was an emaciated, hairless dog. It's skin was pale and waxy. It's eyes were tiny pinpricks of red so deep they looked lke twin droplets of deoxygenated blood. It's jaw hung open, revealing jagged teeth and a forked purple tongue." This is so horrifying to imagine, Max Firehammer deserves to be commended for this vivid horrifying piece.

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