I'm pleased to hear you got your PFA (protection from abuse). I know how hard it is to need to protect yourself from a family member.

As a child who was sexually abused at the age of six, verbally and emotionally abused by both parents, and physically abused by my brother, I strongly advise you to try as hard as you can to forgive your father. I understand it hurts, and he still scares you, but the healing won't start for either of you until you forgive him. It took me years to realize that hating my grandfather for what he had done to me was only making me weaker, but once I forgave him, it was easier to move on with my life.

I'm not condoning his actions, but I'm forgiving the man who did it. After all, your father is a Christian and believes that we must forgive those who trespass against us as the Lord forgives us. Think about it as being the bigger person.

Please know that your story touched me. Thank you for having the courage to write it.