Ah, the petrol smell of burning fuel, the hissing sound of trees crashing on the forest floor, the vision of those beautiful hazy fumes swaying above the factory skyline on a warm summer day. Isn’t that every person’s perfect dream? This guide will teach you tips and tricks to rule the industry world.

Deforestation  
         

It’s a given you need a lot of room to build your factory. The best way to make room is to clear out everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. Deforestation is your BFF when setting up shop; think of it as mother nature’s need for an eco friendly spring cleaning. The ideal location for clearing out trees is a big forest, particularly the forests that have a lot of monkeys, birds, and endangered species. Now don’t worry about these little critters’ homes--the trees will only take two or three hundred years to grow back. The animals living in these habitats will simply have to go somewhere where there is more room for them. The solution is that simple. Now cut down those woody giants and make room for your empire!
         

The possibilities and advantages deforestation brings to your industry are endless. The wood you just cut down is now your first product, paper! Now that you have paper, make sure to invite all your other deforestation pals by mail for a lunch meeting and start building those connections over foie gras and thousand-dollar wine imported from Europe!   

Keep your Factory Fuming
           

After you build your connections move on from paper to textiles, fossil fuels or even the automobile industry and get those machines up and running in your factory! It’s best to keep the machines on all day and everyday. Processing your products while burning as much fuel and chemicals the earth can barely handle, is the only way to manufacture your little treasures perfectly. The main goal is to get that luscious charcoal black cloud in the sky. You know the dark cloud full of carbon emissions and greenhouse gases? Or what I like to call clouds of death. I think we should actually make this black cloud thing a trend #BrewBlackClouds2016. It is just that important. This cloud is the basis of your industry. If you don’t get that little puff out of your factory people will know you aren’t in business, which can only mean one thing…you failed! You might as well resign now and give up your hopes and dreams of running your own industry, and everything in your life for that matter. The only cloud you’ll ever have now is the dark one over your head, and not even that will help you run your industry!

Produce and Never Reduce! 
           

If you don’t royally screw up the fuming chemical clouds, you can now move on to targeting your audience. The key to creating any product is turning the public’s wants into needs. The automobile industry is the best way to reach your goal. Manufacture the most luxurious cars using thousands of pounds of steel and plastic, from as much newly drilled oil as possible, preferably fracking to leave a nice trademark. Now that’s what I call hitting three birds with one stone. More steel and other products means more business, more money, and MORE black clouds roaming around in the sky. It’s a win-win for everyone, and your buddies from the oil industry will be pleased with you.
         

At this point of your career you should be proud. You’re making billions, and your products are keeping the trend alive by producing those mini black clouds.
         

Clear skies are SO Garden of Eden! The future is now. We need convenience and we need modern products in our society. Don’t let a little damage to biodiversity or the planet keep you down. You are sure to be successful in industry if you follow this wise guide. Rise to your throne, and keep your ego as high as the fuming clouds.