A Best Friend | Teen Ink

A Best Friend

January 8, 2008
By Anonymous

A best friend is someone who is there for you. My Nana was my best friend, but she died this summer on Friday, July thirteenth. Losing someone close to you is extremely hard, especially when they live with you and you see them everyday. A day without my Nana is like a day without the sun, dark and gray.

My Nana, Nancy Carolyn DiNardo was the best friend anyone could have ever asked for. She had a baby doll face with gorgeous deep sea blue eyes, beautiful beach blond hair, and a smile to die for. I miss seeing her precious face and warm smile everyday. She was always there for me. We did so many adventurous and exciting things together for the brief twelve years I knew her. For example, when I was four years old my mom used to work late. My Nana use to baby-sit me. We played dolls, watched movies, played outside, and we did whatever I wanted to do. My Nana made me smile when all I wanted to do was cry, and she made me laugh a lot too. One time, when my best friend Rebecca moved away from Easton I was so upset. My eyes were bloodshot red, and the warm sticky tears rapidly raced down my face and trickled gently down the bottom of my chin. My grandmother helped me look at the positives and not look at the negatives and she brightened up my day. Also when I got a low grade on my science test she helped me study for all the rest of the tests I had in that class.

The day my Nana died was the worst day of my life. It was a beautiful sunny Friday afternoon in July. The bees buzzed and the flowers bloomed, and my sister, Cassie and I went for
a long bike ride. When we came inside drenched in sweat the phone rang. I ran up the front stairs to grab it. That was the worst phone call I had ever gotten, it made me heart shatter into a million pieces. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I thought I was going to die. My Aunt Jan called from St. Vincent’s Hospital, the hospital my nana was in for twenty-seven days, and she was extremely sick. I answered the phone and heard loud sobbing; I didn’t know who was on the phone, until my aunt said it was her. My aunt told me to say goodbye to my Nana and whatever else I wanted her to know because she was going to heaven.
As soon as she said those words my mouth dropped open in the shape of a doughnut, and I no longer had the ability to speak. My stomach got all knotted up and my head was throbbing. I started shivering and crying and then I knew I had to say something to my Nana very quickly before she left this world. The last thing I said to my Nana was "Never forget me because I love you so much, and I am going to miss you more than you could ever imagine, and then I said goodbye, I love you." I moved slower than a turtle and handed the phone to my sister as she said goodbye. I couldn’t look at her. Her innocent face made everything worse because I knew she didn’t know what was going on, and in a short time after she hung up the phone my Nana would be dead and nothing would be the same, ever.

I still feel like this whole summer has been the worst nightmare I have ever had. I want someone to wake me up, and for this pain to just go away. I never did have a chance to actually say goodbye to my Nana when she could understand what I was saying to her. When I said goodbye over the phone she was too sick to understand what I said. The day she left our house and went in the ambulance to the hospital I never thought in a million years she would die, but I guess I was wrong. I sadly learned that after twenty-seven long hard days of not knowing
anything, or what felt like nothing to me and the rest of my family. I remember my Nana being carried out of our living room on a long, white, metal stretcher in so much pain. As they got her situated in the ambulance I was upstairs getting my dog, Sparky inside and then the ambulance was gone, on its way to the hospital. My parents went to the hospital after that and I babysat my sister that whole afternoon, until Amie, my grandmother came to pick us up. We always had Sunday dinners at her house with my nana and now just sitting in my chair staring at her empty seat makes me want to run and hide, I feel isolated from the world. Without her there, there is a piece missing from my heart and soul. July nineteenth and twentieth were two very hard days as well. They were the wake and funeral. The wake was very sad, and every time anyone said something to me I cried, I couldn’t handle hearing anything that made me think of my Nana. A lot of people loved my nana and came to the wake because she was such a great person, and once you get to know her you just love her. The morning of the funeral we drove to Roberto’s and waited for the limousines to pick us up and drive us to Abriola Funeral Home. I already was feeling sick like I couldn’t move but I thought it was just nerves. We got to the funeral home and waited for everyone to get there and pray, and then we were off to the church for the ceremony. Then we went to the cemetery. After the ceremony we went back to Roberto’s and had a big lunch with family and friends. I still felt very sick and I couldn’t eat anything. I later found out I had the flu and I ended up giving it to three people that were at the funeral. In August it was my Nana’s sixty-fifth birthday and we celebrated it by going to the cemetery and crying and
singing "Happy Birthday" together because she would have wanted everyone to be together.

I still go visit the cemetery that’s about ten miles away, even though it is very tough to be there without her physically with me. Every time I arrive at the cemetery I burst out crying and can’t stop for a long time. When I hear sad songs on the radio, like "When You’re Gone" by Avril Lavigne or "Big Girls Don’t Cry" by Fergie or songs my nana and I used to sing that were happy and now are sad to me I feel very upset and I can’t help it, so I cry my mascara off. I wrote poems to my Nana while she was in the hospital, my favorite poem was titled My Dearest Nana, and it described the way I feel so much. I write songs dedicated to my Nana, too. Every time I see a picture of my Nana I cry my heart out especially the pictures of Nana and me because they are so special to me, and if anything ever happened to them I don’t think I would ever forgive myself for losing them.

Even though it’s different now my Nana is still here with me everyday. She use to call me her dreamer and her angel, and that’s what I still try to be. I wish she could see everything that’s going on in my life, and we could talk about it like we use to do everyday when I got home from school. I think back on the past, and time is flying by really fast. I know she’s in a better place even though she’s not here with me, but I miss her, her smile, and the way she use to look at me. It is hard to go through everyday without your best friend, and I’ve learned that through this sad experience that my family and I went through over this sad summer nightmare, that tore my heart apart, and I am still trying to put all of the pieces back together.

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