my fighting strength | Teen Ink

my fighting strength

October 1, 2010
By Anonymous

Growing up with two older brothers, I was constantly falling victim to their bribes or blackmail schemes. While my parents were at work or elsewhere, my brothers would tediously watch my every move to ensure that I behaved appropriately. If I fell short of their standards, I would be sentenced to the Kyle or Jack prison. This prison, figuratively of course, would require me to do whatever they say. I remember one sentence lasted for months until my parents finally caught on. My brothers had some sort of control over me. It may be safe to assume that because they were older and stronger, I did not want to face their physical aggression. However, I believe my compliance lay with my need to please them. I did not want to disappoint them. I secretly wanted to become a part of their games and learn their devious and mischievous ways. I wanted to take advantage of having two older brothers by being the girl who knew how to throw a curve ball or knew the quarterback of New York Giants. No matter how hard I tried to join their group, the gender differences were too great for my acceptance to be ensured.

Throughout middle and elementary school, I was known as the younger sister of Kyle and Jack. My brothers and their friends would pass by me in the hallways and greet me by calling me little Kyle or Jack. For a while, I believed that I was finally being accepted. However, knowing that my position was not secure, I still needed to prove myself. I began to develop a mean punch that demonstrated my hidden strength. I would begin to have an aggressive demeanor. If my brothers frustrated me I would clench my fist and with my utmost strength, hit them in the arm. After it was discovered that I was a tiny girl with a canon for an arm, I clearly proclaimed that I am a force to reckon with. Sometimes, my strength got out of control. There were many instances where I would hit my friends with what I thought to be a “light punch.” The same response followed each time – “Ow! That hurt!” I soon realized that what I considered to be light was not light at all. I needed to be more aware of the effect I could have on people. My physical strength should not only be used to make my brothers fear me or grant me their respect, it should give me the confidence to never stand down. It should propel me to accomplish the even most daunting of tasks. If, I, a small girl, can easily leave discolored marks on the toughest of men, why can’t I leave an everlasting impact on the lives of others?

My physical strength became the power I needed to make a difference. It inspired me to become an independent and free thinker, yearning for the opportunity to make my voice heard. Through action, one can make a change. My arm certainly made many changes, but the most important was the change that occurred from within. I was less concerned with being the girl my brothers’ wanted me to be and more concerned with pleasing myself. Knowing sports statistics or certain athletic moves was not going to give me self satisfaction. Surely, I would surprise my brothers’ once more, but that was meaningless. I wanted to make myself proud beyond the force that lied within my arm. Confidence became the medicine that secured me with a positive outcome. Letting go of my brothers’ overpowering shadows, I was free to be myself. I gravitated towards different activities that would seem unconventional in my family. Instead of salivating over the thought of attending a sporting event, I was more interested in having a good time at a rock concert. I find no enjoyment in sitting down watching a game, when I can be on the floor dancing and singing until my lungs burst. I was confident enough that I didn’t need to be like my brothers to be accepted. I just needed to be content with myself.

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This article has 8 comments.

on Jun. 20 2012 at 1:49 pm
ignorance_is_bliss PLATINUM, Memphis, Tennessee
27 articles 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
"This is what it is, this is who I am
This is where I finally take my stand
I didn't wanna fall but I about to crawl
I met the one with two scarred hands"

-Newsboys, Born Again

i have 2 older brothers my self, so i know the feeling

on May. 19 2012 at 10:45 pm
i_am_so_very_large_and_towering SILVER, Mililani, Hawaii
5 articles 1 photo 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yet what is any ocean but a multitude of drops?"

great article! i really enjoyed reading this:)

bluhs said...
on May. 19 2012 at 7:31 pm
bluhs, E, Alabama
0 articles 0 photos 111 comments
This was a beautiful story. Thank you.

on May. 16 2012 at 9:26 pm
BlindlyLaughing BRONZE, Markham, Other
4 articles 2 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:

LOved thisss

Kunabee GOLD said...
on May. 7 2012 at 10:51 am
Kunabee GOLD, Aurora, Colorado
10 articles 0 photos 7 comments
I really liked this!  It was beautiful and well-written.  Great job! (:

on May. 7 2012 at 7:47 am
JessicaRae7 GOLD, Buffalo, New York
14 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Music is the air we breathe." ~Molly Rae Berger
"Being sad is a waste of time." ~Molly Rae Berger
"Girls should never be afraid to be smart." - Emma Watson

I really liked this. I liked how well written it was and how I could feel the emotion. Good work.

on Apr. 16 2012 at 7:26 pm
SophiaCross SILVER, Plattsburgh, New York
7 articles 3 photos 89 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love, to be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and vulgar disparity of the life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget.”

I like this a lot. You wanting to be accepted by others led to you being accepted by yourself...the hint of irony really makes this stand out.

butterfly123 said...
on Apr. 16 2012 at 7:50 am
butterfly123, Banglore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 408 comments
hey! amazing article! i love the subtle humour .great work and keep writing XD