The current state of American politics is comparable to a fight between Fireboy and Watergirl in the Cool Math Game if they were 80 years old. Unlike Congress, both teams work together to make it through a level while in Congress, 535 people perform yap-offs to see who can run down the clock fastest and accomplish nothing. I don’t blame them for not getting anything done: most of their hair had turned gray by the release of the first iPhone. They checked out years ago. Like always, the world is controversial, with new policies needing to be made every day to adapt to the rapid pace. The founding fathers graced America with a three-branch system where the only thing it balances and checks are the pockets for those who occupy the seats. Fortunately, at that time people were lucky to make it past the ripe age of 30. Now life expectancy is nearly 78 years, and yet some 20-year-olds in the 1700s accomplished more than the current representatives who have spent several early American lifetimes in office. 

There is a problem when the same people who served during the demolition of the Berlin Wall (1989) are still serving today. Congress has gotten too old; these people who should be in bed all day are making life-changing decisions for future generations. If all it takes to be in Congress is a butt to take up a seat and an opinion to vote from, then someone as young as five can do the job. Congress needs to be reimagined. Representatives nearly five years away from death make controversial decisions for a future they don’t have, so it’s time to focus on a future for those fated to live it: kindergarteners. 

Five-year-olds are perfect for Congress. They’re good at doing what they’re told and making executive decisions on things they want. Presenting them with a stuffed animal, their persuasive tantrums and decisive hamming of the fist will no doubt result in leaving the toy store happy with their newfound companion. Unlike kindergarteners, these high-horsed geriatrics are incapable of making their own decisions without the help of their neighbor, also a living fossil who meets with other ammonites for tea on Tuesdays. 

The current Congress has been the least productive in modern times. The current Congress has passed only 27 laws compared to preceding Congresses passing over 75 under an opposing party’s president. Representatives are sitting on their asses getting checks from the American people with nothing to show for the “work” they have done. Disregarding the political divide, which is the worst it has ever been, it's clear that representatives are not meeting their goals as representatives. Kindergarteners can make more progress on their coloring books in an hour than Congress can make on our laws in their two- and six-year terms.

With kindergarten representatives in office, there would be no worry about things getting done. Their vitality is unworldly; frankly, it would be hard for them to sit all day and give a thumbs up or down. Enter playgrounds. Issues that concern these kids will have their gold star of priority. Better playgrounds will lead to a happier and fruitful life. Making decisions that can affect the rest of a kid's life sounds like it would be meaningless since they’re so young. They might be young, but kids are the future and present of the country. Representatives can reach 90 years old, voting on ideals they’ve had since their mid-20s, back during Watergate and the Vietnam War, when women didn’t have a voice and the queer community couldn’t express themselves without fear of being killed.

Age in Congress represents all colors in the building. Blue and red, Congress is getting old and holding up seats. America hasn’t seen a period where people have lived so long, where ideas have so intransigently persisted rather than changing with the times. Pre-World War II lifespans were nearly 20 years less. The baby boom was, in fact, a boom of babies. Over 76 million babies were born in the U.S. from 1946 to 62. Baby boomers are the longest-living generation to date, meaning we don’t just have old representatives but an older voting base. Boomers make up nearly one-third of the entire voter population. That many elders should correlate to every medication and elderly housing bill being passed first try, right? Wrong. Unfortunately, these snow-topped babies can’t get something done–even to their benefit. 

Kindergarteners may not share the same brain, but they share one mind. Better school lunch, new playgrounds, extended recess time, no homework, shorter school days. Just think about the amount of things these kids would get done. How are the other representatives supposed to work and pass legislation when the majority are a bunch of little kids? They simply won't; the bills passed to law will hit a record high, boosting not only national morality but also the economy. These kids will make over one hundred thousand dollars a year. That's a Lego and Fortnite economic bomb of potential growth, sending toy and game stocks to the sun and beyond.

Kindergarteners think that if doing something is going to help people, then there would be no worry ever again. Show them the horrors of this world and they will make sure that every homeless person has a house, every hungry person has food, every abused person is cared for, and every abuser is jailed. The amount of things that younger generations can get done is limitless. Boomers take notes. Reach to the back of your mind and get those cogs turning, because it's time for progress. Growing up in the system will allow kindergarteners to better shape their ideas and opinions, ones that will not only represent this generation of kids but also the new time they’re growing up in. Currently, kindergarteners are facing most of the world’s hardships and yet have no power to change them, while the only thing boomers are in touch with is the wood grain of their caskets.

Altogether, when it comes to abortion access, funding/defunding political wars across the ocean, or other major political issues, life in this country could be better if it weren’t thanks to the current state of U.S. politics. The deteriorating generation holding seats like this prevents aspiring kindergarteners from entering Congress and making changes that will go beyond retirement homes and their pockets. Congress is by no means a perfect motor for the vehicle of this nation. It comes with many flaws in many areas that need to be addressed at the right time. Currently, the biggest thing holding back progress is the same people who held up progress during the fight for equal rights for women and queers during the 70s. Congress is meeting the ground before they meet the American people’s needs. The system needs to be refreshed. Wisdom doesn’t last forever; it's time for a pick-me-up to let new generations have a chance at shaping a future they want to live in. A vote for the past might as well be a kiss goodbye to the future.