Lost in thoughts | Teen Ink

Lost in thoughts

January 25, 2023
By Xsniedy1234 SILVER, Sacremento, California
Xsniedy1234 SILVER, Sacremento, California
5 articles 0 photos 0 comments


“Let yourself unwind and get lost in the garden of your mind”. My mind says I’m the princess of the garden but in reality, I’m just a 15-year-old sophomore in Luther Burbank high school named Nidhi. I am a brown-skinned Indian girl with little to no accent in my voice. My mind usually wanders off to its own places making me clueless about the reality where everything feels like a dream. “A dream is dynamic; capable of growing and taking shape”, dreams are defined as the vision of hope. Therefore I’m a  dream. 

 

I moved to the United States at the age of 10. Moving here felt like the biggest dream of all. Got to meet new people that were fully different then I am and only had seen them in the world of technology until then. When I rethink back to those last 5 years of mine it feels like a dream, the fogginess of words coming out of people’s mouths as I didn’t understand the language they were speaking. It felt as if I didn't belong, a whole new world that I thought was only accessed by the luckiest of all. Although I don't think so much now, I wished that mindset would come back to me. Back then, I used to live in my head always daydreaming to lose touch with reality because to me reality felt fake.

 

I often found myself wondering who I was. Without the whole unwind of thoughts filled in my mind every second of the day. One thing that got me to escape those thoughts for a bit was boxing. Boxing helped me use my daydreaming as a weapon in a way. Before a sparring match, I would start daydreaming about how I would keep punching non stop while slipping all the opponents punches and look cool doing it. Using slips, rolls, and other moves that I wasn’t the greatest at. Although that daydreaming hasn’t become a full-on reality yet, it made me more pumped and excited to fight my opponent because of how badly I want it to become a reality. I learned to use that skill in all sorts of other situations. For example, learning new things like cooking. I started to cook and that’s thanks to my daydreaming. I thought how helpful it would be if I was able to cook, and dreamed about cooking all sorts of things. That got me actually wanting to do it and now that dream has become reality. I’ve always wanted to be a doer and not a dreamer, but I guess I’m both. 

 

In the future I want to live in a city after graduating. A city with places I can walk to and the weather is usually cloudy and rainy almost like Newyork. I want to go to a college out of sacramento… to get a bit of experience on my own. I want to model as a hobby but be a registered nurse as my job or a major in college. It all sounds too unrealistic, maybe because I’ve dreamed of this. In my opinion most people have the wrong idea of dreamy people, they think that it's all bark but no bite. To be a doer you need to have an idea of what you want, and slowly make it into reality by putting work towards it. Which I am doing right now. I also want to travel, because this world is too beautiful to be unseen and is a dream of its own. Some places on this planet feel unreal but it makes you happy to even feel it. 


In short, I am a person who daydreams, and tends to live mostly in her head. Making me dream. A dream that is filled with impractical things, and even stupid to some but make total sense to me. A dream that one day will be reality. A reality that makes people realize that to be a doer you need to be a dreamer. 


The author's comments:

This is a who are you essay. It talks about who I am. 


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