Dear sister, 

I know things haven't always been easy between us. We keep comparing ourselves to each other. But did you know that it’s one of the most important reasons why I keep drifting away from you? I do love you, I really do. But we have to stop this rivalry because soon enough I won’t be able to handle it anymore. Confidence is an issue for me, and I will deliberately choose to get away from you and distance myself to protect my peace. My heart can only take a number of hurtful things, especially from you. It’s hard for me to say this and it’s not against you, but I need to protect myself before I break even more.  

You’ve influenced me more than you’ll ever know.

We were maybe 13 and 15 years old. I came downstairs with my new baby pink tight velvet dress that I genuinely liked. It made me feel very pretty, but once your eyes crossed my body, you couldn't help yourself to make a nasty comment. “Ew, why do you look like that?” My eyes immediately started watering and my chest tightened. My level of confidence that I worked really hard to build up immediately drifted away. Every time I manage to get over one of your comments, you find a way to make another one. 

Mom always told me to not take into consideration what you said. You acted that way because apparently you were “jealous”. This needs to stop. Jealousy is not an excuse for someone’s bad behaviour. Little did you know, I always cared deeply about what you said. You are not a random person, you are my sister. My older sister. I’ve always looked up to you and always will. I remember when we were younger and we would play princesses together with not a care in the world. I miss it. You may think that I’m just “gonna get over it” one day, but no, not when this wickedness comes from you. 

Our relationship always had ups and downs. Sometimes I’m the one starting the fight, but we all know that it’s mostly you. I need an explanation of why you treat me like an object that you can decide what to do with it while you know that I’m one of the most sensitive people you have ever met. I deserve to be loved by you, but not this way. Even though we didn’t choose to be sisters and we have totally different personalities, I still care deeply about you, and I know that I’m really important for you too. However, you don’t have the right way of showing it. Even if sometimes you’re nice, it doesn’t make up for the times you weren’t. And this can be applied to everyone.

We need to stop comparing each other.

I’ve spent years being insecure next to you. The way you seem to effortlessly fit everywhere while I either felt too much or not enough. I’m not writing you this letter to accuse you or make you feel bad, but to create a vision of sisterhood that isn't a competition, but coexistence. I consider myself extremely lucky to have siblings, even more a sister. Finally, I think we, and all the sisters out there, should be nicer to each other because you never know the impact it has on someone.

Sincerely, your younger sister who loves you very much, Mila