i really like this and i can relate to it.

Wow. I really hope things begin to get better for you. Brilliant idea and great work! Keep it up!

beautiful work...

Things are a lot better for me and I was lost for a long time and am still getting out of it to this day. I wanted to share my story so that maybe anyone going through the same thing can see that they are not alone in the world the way i felt I was.

the grammar was hard to correct and things like that because I was trying to write straight from what I had written in my journals.

My main criticism is flow and grammar. I think you have a lot of emotion and an amazing story to tell, but you need to edit your writing to fix the errors.

Well, I am not exactly sure where to start. I just really hope things have gotten better for you. I know how hard it is, when someone hurts you, you feel like you have to find a worse hurt to cover it up. when something happens and you have no control over it, you have to find something only YOU control. For you, you hurt through cutting and controlled your weight, just not the right way. If there is one point I am trying to make, it is that you are absolutely perfect the way you are. I do not know what you believe, but I KNOW that you are fearfully and wonderfully made by the hand of God. Nobody, including you, can improve his design. Please learn to love yourself just as you are. And our whole culture saying you have to be a toothpick to be pretty is ludicrous anyways. In many cultures, being bigger (which I don't think you even are) is a sign of wealth and honor. My grandparents grew up in Tanzania and my mom would tell me how Grandma got so upset because every time she put on a few pounds all the locals would pat her belly and compliment her! I would also like to tell you how sorry I am about your dad. I used to get so hurt and angry when my parents didn't come through for me. Then I just started praying about it. Slowly, the Lord showed me that human beings are never perfect. We all sin and hurt those around us. So I just kept telling myself "People will fail you, again and again. Jesus will not." It has given me a lot of peace and hope in darker days. Lastly, please do not think that God is the one who "let these bad things happen" to you. Bad things happen because of our own choices. And I do not mean that like everything is your fault. The choices of your dad have hurt you. Human choices. Why does God allow us to hurt each other? Because he is a gentleman. He loves and respects you so much, instead of turning you into a perfect rule-following robot, he has given you free will. That means he lets you make your own choices, even when they hurt you and others, because he respects you. Please, do not keep running from him, give him your pain, he will give you peace and comfort. Give him your insecurity, he will open your eyes to how PERFECT you are. Because you are. Perfectly. Made.

Great story. Its really emotional and personal witch can be hard to write about. Showing the story through old journals was a interesting out look.