The Mirror

June 21, 2011
By IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé


Life is like a compact mirror.
When you travel to Heaven's door,
It is where Saint Peter would peek,
To see what you did every week,
To see what you did every day,
To hear everything you did say,
What you thought of every minute
And if you deserve Heaven's heat.
Life may be a mirror so small,
But it is bigger than the mall.
If you know what it might reflect,
You might tell yourself "what the heck"
Now, be nice - do not say "you suck"
Because life can really do suck


The author's comments:
This piece is written actually for a Teen Ink forum contest where a contestant needs to use the words given. I chose mirror but instead of submitting it to the contest forum, I submitted it here in Teen Ink.

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This article has 7 comments.


on Aug. 6 2011 at 7:42 pm
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

No need to worry, girl. And I actually need to thank you... :) 

on Aug. 6 2011 at 2:09 pm
Love.Hate.Passion., Spring Valley, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 356 comments

Favorite Quote:
~Hope. Faith. Love~
~Be proud of who you are.You are all unique in a different way.~
~I WILL NOT fade into oblivion , and become less than
a distant memory.~

The poem is very weak at the end , but very strong in the beginning. There's a small grammatical error at the end. It's supposed to say " because life can really suck" Otherwise , it would be grammatically incorrect. I felt as if the line " But it is bigger than the mall" was a bit amateur and didn't help the flow of the poem. It's a nice poem nevertheless.

 

I apologize if I hurt your feelings , as I am only trying to improve your writing by showing you want you can work on.

-Yessenia


Emily.L GOLD said...
on Aug. 2 2011 at 4:07 pm
Emily.L GOLD, Gilbert, Arizona
10 articles 12 photos 84 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes, we just have to be happy with what people can offer us. Even if it's not what we want, at least it's something. " -Sarah Dessen

I liked "Life may be a mirror so small." I didn't like the last 3 lines that much, but the rest of the poem was really good :)

on Aug. 2 2011 at 5:29 am
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

Thanks... Glad you like it. When I re-read this. I didn't see the grammatical mistakes. Can you please specify? :)

on Aug. 1 2011 at 7:31 pm
Healing_Angel SILVER, Sydney, Other
8 articles 2 photos 513 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live for today, not for tomorrow

Have faith in yourself! Apart from a few small grammar mistakes, this was good! :) I liked it... :)

on Jul. 17 2011 at 2:12 am
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

Huh? What you mean? And what did you find in the middle and beginning that was gone with the ending? It might help :)

on Jul. 16 2011 at 11:02 pm
TheHangingGirl BRONZE, Winter Haven, Florida
1 article 1 photo 250 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Poets utter great and wise things that they themselves can not comprehend."

Im not big on the ending, but i really liked the beginning and the middle. :)


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