My Love

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My love shines bright with compassion for you
I never thought this love was meant to me
Because sometimes you seem to make me blue
Your the only one for me.

When we first met it was love at first sight
That wonderful kiss left upon my cheek
Had me floating on cloud nine day and night
You melted my heart and left me so weak.

Only... You said together forever
But, You broke my heart and left me in tears
In reality it felt like never.
My hearts torn apart after all those years.

I hope you regret what you've done to me
Because someone else filled my heart with glee.





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XxDream_in_ColorxX said...
Jan. 7, 2011 at 9:44 pm

I really like the ending to this poem.  It kindof shows mixed emotions though.

The only thing I would revise, though, is the last line in the first stanza.  Because, one, you said 'me' twice, and the line is also not ten syllables.  (If the classic Shakespeare form is what you were going for. Haha)

I like the lines,  "Only... You said together forever," and "In reality it felt like forever."  I could totally relate to those two lines in particular.

 
xx3kay3xx replied...
Jan. 11, 2011 at 6:20 pm
lol thanks. this was for school as well, i got to lazy to fix it :)
 
XxDream_in_ColorxX replied...
Jan. 12, 2011 at 7:45 pm
Ohh.  I understand.  Haha I do the same thing for school.  =] 
 
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