Rain Storm

January 18, 2011
By RoseOzera BRONZE, Sandy, Utah
RoseOzera BRONZE, Sandy, Utah
3 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."
"We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves."
"Silence is sometimes the best answer"
"Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive"
Dalai Lama


Drip, drip, drop
Are my tears fallin' down.
Drip, drip, drop
Is the sound of my cryin'.
Drip, drip, drop
I'm tryin' not to frown.
Drip, drip, drop
I'm dyin' here without you!

The storm is growing stronger,
It's makin' me so sad.
This time it's going longer,
Why did you have to go?

The lightning strikes into my soul,
and cracks my heart in half.
My mind is racing, like the lightning,
The thunder takes away my laugh.

I'm cryin' out to you.
Why did you need to go?
Please know that I love you.
I wish you would come home!

The lightning strikes into my soul,
and cracks my heart in half.
My mind is racing, like the lightning,
The thunder takes away my laugh.

I need you,
Do you need me?
I miss you,
Remember the fun times?
Can you see,
This message I'm sending?
Please come back,
You're headed the wrong way!

The lightning strikes into my soul,
and cracks my heart in half.
My mind is racing, like the lightning,
The thunder takes away my laugh.

The lightning is fading,
The thunder is rolling away.
Now my crying is quiet,
Like this rain storm, above me.

Drip, drip, drop
Are my tears fallin' down.
Drip, drip, drop
Is the sound of my cryin'.
Drip, drip, drop . . .


The author's comments:
My wonderful Grandfather's death, inspired me to write this piece.

And as always, Thank you Ms. Ruggiano! With out you, I wouldn't have the courage to share my writing with others.

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This article has 4 comments.


Alex Kearns said...
on Feb. 2 2011 at 7:20 pm
Why would I post my own?  I was asked to rate this and comment on it to make it better.

Mark said...
on Feb. 1 2011 at 8:54 am
Alex - you are a funny guy!  Here's a challenge...  Perhaps post one of your own?  Just a thought..  ;-)

Alex Kearns said...
on Jan. 30 2011 at 6:54 pm

Beautiful.  But, I am back to hark on your work again :)

What type of poetry is this?  Just so I can get the structure down.

I imagine this is a kinda slow going song?  With one of those depressing keys?

I noticed that you don't like the "ing" endings and resorted to the "in'" ending.  Is this to put a little culture into this piece?  Or just a habit?

Now that you have had a rough draft, try to see how you can expand on it.  You can find interesting ways to move your words.

Try another rhyme structure.  This being lyrics to a song (one that I hope of hearing on the radio in my car soon) can work with some of these, but others will make your word choice expand.

try to look at the lyrics and think to yourself a few question

1.) Am I changing the listeners mood in the direction that I want?

2.) Do they understand with the way I rhyme and my choice of words?

Overall this is a great "work in development." It is almost there.  Just keep chipping at it.  Maybe there is someone in this world who has a means of guitar playing and maybe will enjoy these lyrics and want to make billions of dollars with you.  But what do I know?


Levier said...
on Jan. 30 2011 at 5:14 pm
Beautifully written by RoseOzera.  Both the song lyrics and title.  Very nice!


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