November 11, 2009
By , east islip, NY
Unpleasantly suprised by the way my life went,
I knew things would fall when my record got that first dent,
Tryna find my way out but the walls closed in,
Forced to hear myself and deal with my emotions,
Each thought racing past constant commotion,
Solutions vary from suicide to drugs and over dosing,
But one voice inside managed to drown out the rest,
Saying I can do it and we began to protest,
And the walls got thinner so I started to think,
That maybe I can fix it that maybe I can relive it,
But then I realized I screwed up and my life went the wrong way,
And as fast and the light came it faded away,
Now Im dealing with the fact Im not gifted,
Try to rest my head and forget as I get lifted,
The blaze keeps my lungs warm eyes bloodshot,
This is the only aspect of happiness I got,
The prick of the needle makes me feel so alive,
Dependency's the only thing that lets me survive,
A savage for the chems that make me feel so lost,
I spent all my saving its about the feeling not the cost,
It's all I need no friends no fam,
I just live for a buzz anyway I can,
My heart began to pound I can feel every sound,
Taste every color can't see a thing around,
Im still hoping someone can come and save me,
Im hoping I can escape these flaws that made me,
I dealt with horrible things no one would ever ask for,
I ask myself endless questions and ask more,
Like how can you hurt you gaurdian angel?
How can you turn your back on the person that saved you?
You neglect your emotions and your strained by your thoughts,
You deceive your teachers and forget what you were taught,
Your lost in the jealousy the anger the greed,
You steal what you want and you sell what you need,
Your hopeless heartless your life has gone wrong,
You forget the feeling of love cuz you ain't felt it in so long,
Either let me fly or give me death,
Either let me go or this is my last breath,
All eyes on me just waiting for me to screw up,
Im just a flawed paint an amature just drew up
Am I losing my mind?
Im losing track of time,
I'm Waking up in unfamiliar places,
Forgetting all the important faces,
When will it stop when will it end?
Im going the wrong way at the roads bend,
Every color turned black and white,
I spent my whole life avoiding the white light,
All ive witness is pain just loss no gain,
Love has never happened only fallen in pain,
Now im right on the edge about to fall insane,
And after years of playing I realized lifes just a game,
And to reach the next level either be smart or acheive fame,
I'm trapped on these pages in a book of pain,
I put these words in a song so people hear what I'm Saying,
And Im tryna get these songs out so people know that Im sane,
But its hard when people don't know you exist or even have a name,
So im the only one who ever hears these words come out,
Like the sun wit an infinite eclipse ill never come out,
And the sky died today grey clouds forever stood above,
Nothin ever moved again not even a dove,
But if the sun could peek out just for a second,
I can fix my life and stop all the wrecking,
I'll do it i promise this is my last chance,
I'll never let an other oppurtunity get past,
Now the walls are gone the sun began to shine,
MY life will never fall again my hope can only rise,
This it where it all starts this is where I live,
Ima follow the path that was set when I was a kid,
These are words of inspiration I wrote this for yall,
You who don't stand because your afraid to fall,
We all have to take chances we all have to leap,
Follow your dreams and bring them out when you go to sleep.

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