I need Feminism because when I walk home past dusk I have to endure the incessant cat calls and crude comments
Penetrating my ears and self esteem, the debilitating phrases  slowly chip away at my core
I no longer see me in my pale pink mirror; I slowly begin to see only exposed body parts, because that is all I’m worth
No one mentions my artistic talent or my caring personality, only my physical attributes
Defeated and depressed, I begin to believe what I hear
The next night I walk home alone as similar comments invade further into my delicate soul
Travelling aggressively, my low self worth enters my veins, coursing through my entire body until not one ounce of self respect remains uninfected
On and on, like a burned out record on repeat, I am subjected to hearing what I have to offer to the world: my body
Not only did I hear these comments on my way home, but in the mall shopping for my graduation dress, and at school between passing periods
That last night when I headed home from my minimum wage job marked the day when I was no longer me
No longer did I have a bubbly personality
No longer did I have high expectations for myself and those around me, because I am nothing
No longer did I feel compelled to communicate with others or share my struggles, why would they care?
I’m not special, I know
There’s nothing so vastly original about my body or my features, I understand that other women are subjected to this treatment too
It continues to amaze me how these women can be so strong and cleansing themselves of the venom dripping words; to persevere through the emotional turmoil to continue their everyday lives
I am not this strong
Every negative mention eats away at me; I am lost underneath the mountain of self doubt
As a newly graduated high school student, it is my time to venture off into higher academia and begin my chapter in college
Experiencing an average and mundane summer, I felt invigorated to begin my new adventure; new people, new maturity, new me
Little did I know that the sexual taunting and ridicule I had so narrowly escaped in high school, or so I thought, would continue to close in on me in college
I am unable to walk to my dorm past dusk on any given day; anyone could be lurking in the shadows
Expecting to meet a good boy, I do not
At every party and get together I am exposed to sleazy pick up lines, proposed for the single goal of taking me home
Accumulating and festering, I am once again dragged down into the dark and daunting emotional pit that I had so recently pulled myself out of
Fully understanding my place, I begin to accept the initiative pick up lines and sexual invitations
A new house every weekend, I don’t know where I am; quickly waking up and sneaking home becomes a dirty habit
Intoxicated and infected, I don’t remember who I was with last or what occurred
Before long I have managed to be alienated from my morally sound friends, and have fallen in with a crowd who not only accepts my new dark behaviors, but also celebrates and encourages them

Three years later after enduring relentless therapy and emotional reconstruction I find myself in a free clinic; I have had a rising fever and questionable fatigue
Haunted by my careless college years, I am petrified to receive my results
If only I had sought life-saving help sooner; if only I had recognized the error of my ways
If only I had understood that men do not define my self-worth, maybe I wouldn’t be sitting in this polyester chair awaiting my inevitable fate
Hands shaking, mind racing, I hold my breath and nervously open the slip: HIV +
I need Feminism because I was conditioned to understand my low self worth as an adolescent, and it has followed me and affected my decisions every day since