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A Play On A Play On Words This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

When the tides change
I’ll be free
to drown among my people
in the ancient lands of nowhere
nowhere you would go
with a head upon my hat
and feet upon my shoes
it’s time to go inside
to survive
the cold of the air conditioning
in my room it’s harsh living
with the lights turned off
no one makes a sound
except the pitter patter of my soul
across the aluminum roof of my mind
like raindrops in your eye
all you are is a blurred image
thoughts once clear
are now hard to see
I have to retrieve my telescope
just to see you
still leaves me empty inside
’cause I think it’s my fault
that I have no idea
but I don’t know what to think
or where to begin
so I just sit and wait
for the tide to come in.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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Sky.. said...
May 19, 2011 at 11:38 pm
I don't understand it.
 
David.DZE replied...
Jul. 2, 2011 at 9:37 am
I kind of agree with Sky. Although I do like the way words are used to capture emotion.
 
Zekerom999 said...
May 19, 2011 at 9:21 pm
SWEET MOTHER OF... THIS IS AWSOME!!!
 
x0tayy0x said...
May 19, 2011 at 7:53 pm
this poem is beautiful. i absolutely love it.
 
TolkienLewisWhitman said...
May 19, 2011 at 7:04 pm
Wonderful! You did do a great job using figurative language, and touching our deepest feelings.
 
J.P. said...
May 19, 2011 at 12:28 pm

I love the whole thing... it sounds relly deep(:

 

 
carstorm said...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 2:39 pm
I was going to try and decribe this poem but there is no words to describe it.
 
little-miss-mistakes said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 9:03 pm
amazing amazing completely amazing... but if you read all these other comments you already knew that!!!! seriously, greatness.... my one negative comment would be that the picture looks to much like justin beiber  *shudder*, but seriously great
 
bken24 said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 8:25 pm
I'd like to shake your hand and say "Well done."
 
evergreen232 said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 7:14 pm
wow! great job! i love the last 4 lines :)(: very thoughtful!
 
happyboat said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 6:30 pm
Wow. This was great. "A head upon my hat"? I think yes.
 
HopeLovePeace said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 4:52 pm
Its Awesomee:D
I Love It!'(:
 
Cerberus said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 3:52 pm
plainly and bluntly put...LOVE IT!!
 
Kelsey_O said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 3:46 pm
This is amazing! I love the line "except the pitter patter of my soul/ across the aluminum roof of my mind". It's brilliant. The imagery and the languange in this is just so cool. Amazing work! Check out my article? 
 
WindDancer said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 3:17 pm
This is stunning. It's so thoughtful, and the imagery is just amazing. It connects and flows, and it doesn't ramble like I tend to do when I write poetry. It's like a puzzle- really, really good work. Keep writing and dreaming!
 
Kelly M. said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 3:13 pm

Great work

That is the best poem I have ever read and I love the title and the amazing poetic techniques you use to bring the poem to life!! 

 
Snowdancer153 said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 10:34 am
This is soooooooo good and amazing. LOVE it!!!!
 
lala15 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 10:49 am
this has the most metaphors stuffed into the fewest lines ive ever seen! i wish i could write like you do!
 
lala15 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 10:50 am
srry i didnt mean to reply, i thought it wuz a new comment! oops
 
IDKXmere13 said...
Apr. 22, 2011 at 8:57 pm
This is amazing! It really makes me think. This is an amazing piece! :D
 
thegirlwiththebrokenheart replied...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 7:53 am
This is amazingly good! I love the way your word choices collide! You should take a look at mine! thanks jenna.
 
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