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Cotton Candy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

puffs of sweet fiberglass
dissolve into pink crystals
on the pinnacle of my tongue.

they fall like tickled icicles
puncturing the walls
of my abdomen.

still I consume
the addicting substance,
permitting my body
to slowly commit suicide.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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ldanalkw said...
Dec. 14, 2010 at 1:15 pm:
its suppose to be McDonald, jeez
 
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xSkittleBugx said...
Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:15 am:
very interesting. good work. its all very truthful, and its about cotton candy which is a very delightful, once in awhile, snack. keep up the good work!
 
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Shanny! <3 said...
Nov. 17, 2010 at 2:17 pm:
This poem is the shortest poem I've every read but you do have a ponit!
 
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madison.stewart. said...
Nov. 17, 2010 at 12:48 pm:
I love how this is about a drug, but uses cotton candy for metaphor! Such an innocent used to descride such a horrible thing. Good job!
 
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Fiddlerkat said...
Oct. 30, 2010 at 7:04 pm:
It's an interesting poem, that's for sure. Some of the words seemed a bit formal for the subject matter (i.e. "pinnacle") but this irony created an unexpected comic layer. :D
 
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SecretSasha said...
Oct. 27, 2010 at 2:09 pm:
I love this poem! I could almost taste it on my tongue :)
 
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Rythm said...
Oct. 26, 2010 at 9:46 pm:
Haha. I love how everyone think it's really about cotton candy. Nice one! I really love how you used an extended metaphor for drugs in the form of cotton candy. It's a great metaphor to use because cotton candy just seems so... innocent. Until you cross it with meth, of course. Keep at it!
 
qwertyqwerty123 replied...
Oct. 29, 2010 at 12:33 am :
i'm really confused... i thought it was about cotton candy. i guess that's why i didn't get the poem...
 
vivig4ever replied...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 7:50 pm :
lol the person didn actually mention cotton candy in the poem just in the title that doesn make it about cotton candy, it's just a distractor. And great job!;-)
 
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gogreenatohs said...
Oct. 26, 2010 at 6:32 pm:
This is a beautiful poem 
 
Arun P. replied...
Dec. 14, 2010 at 1:06 pm :
Yes I know
 
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SpringRayynThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 26, 2010 at 4:51 pm:
COTTON CANDY KILLS PEOPLE???????
 
Arun P. replied...
Dec. 14, 2010 at 1:05 pm :
Yes yes it does
 
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Crispy said...
Oct. 26, 2010 at 7:23 am:
I loved this poem. It was very descriptive and I can relate because I love cotton candy. :)
 
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elmosoreo said...
Oct. 4, 2010 at 10:37 am:
Lol ^.^ made my day. a wonderful piece on something so simple...made...complex and interesting ^.^ kudos
 
Arun P. replied...
Dec. 14, 2010 at 1:07 pm :
I KNOW! It touches me!
 
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Shay. said...
Sept. 12, 2010 at 11:22 am:
Haha. This is beautiful!
 
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winy.coronadoo said...
Aug. 21, 2010 at 12:45 pm:
I love this poem! It has all the five senses and reader can clearly picture the scenario!
 
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katiepickelsimer This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 30, 2010 at 1:00 am:
This poem is really good so I tagged it as one of my favorites:) It was sweet to dedicate it to your brother:)
 
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WritingLoverForever said...
Jul. 8, 2010 at 8:31 pm:
This is amazing! Seriously, I'm blown away. It's beautifully written and has such a unique description. I especially loved the suicide part. Great job on this. And could you check out some of my work please?
 
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