Cotton Candy MAG

October 25, 2008
By freedomfighter97 BRONZE, Lake Ann, Michigan
freedomfighter97 BRONZE, Lake Ann, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 11 comments

puffs of sweet fiberglass
dissolve into pink crystals
on the pinnacle of my tongue.

they fall like tickled icicles
puncturing the walls
of my abdomen.

still I consume
the addicting substance,
permitting my body
to slowly commit suicide.



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This article has 164 comments.


austin_ BRONZE said...
on Jan. 22 2011 at 4:44 pm
austin_ BRONZE, Pevely, Missouri
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
have you ever stopped and thought about something bad that happened, have you ever had that wierd feeling?

i really loved your poem

on Dec. 31 2010 at 7:40 pm
PerfectMGymnast DIAMOND, Parker, Colorado
57 articles 25 photos 633 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you don't leap you'lll never know what it's like to fly"

I love this poem!! It's really good! Especially the ending! it ends the poem well!!! :) I also like the whole idea of the poem. You must have worked so hard on this!! I think you should send it in to teen ink and try to get it published ont he website!!! :) Also can you please take a look at my writing- The cul-de-sac and The watering hole (That are published on this website) And please rate and comment on them?? It would be greatly appreciated!! THANKS!!! :) :)

ldanalkw said...
on Dec. 14 2010 at 1:15 pm
its suppose to be McDonald, jeez

on Dec. 14 2010 at 1:11 pm
nice comment man

on Dec. 14 2010 at 1:09 pm
s,ndfnjdslkf gklwdngfs, =dk;fmdsa, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments

agreed

 


on Dec. 14 2010 at 1:07 pm
s,ndfnjdslkf gklwdngfs, =dk;fmdsa, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments
I KNOW! It touches me!

on Dec. 14 2010 at 1:06 pm
s,ndfnjdslkf gklwdngfs, =dk;fmdsa, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments
Yes I know

on Dec. 14 2010 at 1:05 pm
s,ndfnjdslkf gklwdngfs, =dk;fmdsa, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments
Yes yes it does

on Dec. 9 2010 at 9:15 am
xSkittleBugx BRONZE, Stamford, New York
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"To Be Or Not To Be, That Is The Question."

very interesting. good work. its all very truthful, and its about cotton candy which is a very delightful, once in awhile, snack. keep up the good work!

Shanny! <3 said...
on Nov. 17 2010 at 2:17 pm
This poem is the shortest poem I've every read but you do have a ponit!

on Nov. 17 2010 at 12:48 pm
madison.stewart. SILVER, Saint Helens, Oregon
9 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Kristian is amazing."

I love how this is about a drug, but uses cotton candy for metaphor! Such an innocent used to descride such a horrible thing. Good job!

on Oct. 30 2010 at 7:04 pm
Fiddlerkat BRONZE, Madison, Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
It's an interesting poem, that's for sure. Some of the words seemed a bit formal for the subject matter (i.e. "pinnacle") but this irony created an unexpected comic layer. :D

on Oct. 29 2010 at 12:33 am
qwertyqwerty123 PLATINUM, Concord, California
28 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"prey on the old and your a coward
prey on the young and your pathetic
prey on the weak and your even weaker
prey on my friends and your history"
- fearless: payback (book 6) by francine pascal

i'm really confused... i thought it was about cotton candy. i guess that's why i didn't get the poem...

on Oct. 27 2010 at 2:09 pm
SecretSasha SILVER, Cibolo, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 68 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It doesn't matter how slow you go as long as you don't stop"

I love this poem! I could almost taste it on my tongue :)

Rythm GOLD said...
on Oct. 26 2010 at 9:46 pm
Rythm GOLD, Ringgold, Georgia
15 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Friendship is a wild card: The worth and promise varies."

Haha. I love how everyone think it's really about cotton candy. Nice one! I really love how you used an extended metaphor for drugs in the form of cotton candy. It's a great metaphor to use because cotton candy just seems so... innocent. Until you cross it with meth, of course. Keep at it!

S.Kriva SILVER said...
on Oct. 26 2010 at 6:32 pm
S.Kriva SILVER, Richmond, Virginia
5 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live laugh love

This is a beautiful poem 

on Oct. 26 2010 at 4:51 pm
SpringRayyn PLATINUM, Lakeville, Minnesota
34 articles 2 photos 659 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't punish yourself," she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness too. That was writing."
--Markus Zusak, "The Book Thief"

COTTON CANDY KILLS PEOPLE???????

Crispy said...
on Oct. 26 2010 at 7:23 am
Crispy, Spotsylvania, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 22 comments
I loved this poem. It was very descriptive and I can relate because I love cotton candy. :)

on Oct. 4 2010 at 10:37 am
elmosoreo SILVER, Paducah, Kentucky
8 articles 2 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
Oftentimes we say goodbye to the person we love without wanting to. Though that doesn’t mean that we've stopped loving them or we've stopped to care. Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say I love you....

Lol ^.^ made my day. a wonderful piece on something so simple...made...complex and interesting ^.^ kudos

Photo_97 said...
on Sep. 12 2010 at 12:33 pm
Photo_97, Ct., Connecticut
0 articles 7 photos 65 comments
i deff.agree keep it up! i love it.


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