Cotton Candy | Teen Ink

Cotton Candy MAG

October 25, 2008
By freedomfighter97 BRONZE, Lake Ann, Michigan
freedomfighter97 BRONZE, Lake Ann, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 11 comments

puffs of sweet fiberglass
dissolve into pink crystals
on the pinnacle of my tongue.

they fall like tickled icicles
puncturing the walls
of my abdomen.

still I consume
the addicting substance,
permitting my body
to slowly commit suicide.



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This article has 164 comments.


on May. 3 2010 at 6:43 pm
Sketched97 PLATINUM, Silver Spring, Maryland
31 articles 4 photos 168 comments
Love it. a bit wordy, but kinda in a good way. The ending is clever and fantastic. 

Stellar SILVER said...
on May. 3 2010 at 5:00 pm
Stellar SILVER, San Angelo, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live through all of your blessings.

now I extremely want some cotton candy!!! great work

on May. 3 2010 at 3:24 pm
Dandelion PLATINUM, Franklin, Massachusetts
20 articles 8 photos 173 comments
Ooh! Such a pretty metaphor! You captured it; I like it.

on May. 3 2010 at 11:25 am
shanaye30 BRONZE, Monte Vista, Colorado
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Good, Better, Best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better, and your better is best!

Wow this is really good. Interesting metophore!

on May. 3 2010 at 10:58 am
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1985 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

ooh that was good!

Phantom93 said...
on May. 3 2010 at 10:53 am
Phantom93, Cheyenne, Wyoming
0 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks"- Forrest Gump

I like it even though I hate cotton candy.

on May. 3 2010 at 10:15 am
chartothalatte GOLD, Cleveland Heights, Ohio
10 articles 1 photo 62 comments
eerie... i liked it, but it was odd.

on May. 3 2010 at 9:29 am
TheAmazingJoysie BRONZE, Cork, Other
4 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Your going to die anyway so you might as well craft.' The Anticraft

chilling yet beautiful

on Apr. 11 2010 at 9:37 pm
freedomfighter97 BRONZE, Lake Ann, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 11 comments
This poem is dedicated to my younger brother because he has had Type 2 diabetes for fifteen years.  If he eats too much sweets, his body will slowly destroy itself from the inside out.  I love you, Anton!  And eat healthy food!  :P

on Apr. 11 2010 at 4:39 pm
deardiary BRONZE, Saskatoon, Other
3 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is a truth universally acknowedged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. -Pride and Prejudice

Mmm, dark. Love it!

Thrush BRONZE said...
on Mar. 20 2010 at 10:29 am
Thrush BRONZE, Tegaad, Other
4 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Live life to it's fullest extent, it's the only life you've got" "Enjoy yourself, be yourself, love yourself"

Terribly beautiful

Chrissy_L GOLD said...
on Feb. 26 2010 at 5:25 pm
Chrissy_L GOLD, Ramsey, New Jersey
13 articles 0 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.

Simply beautiful... A slight chill ran down my spine reading the last phrase.

on Feb. 26 2010 at 2:47 pm
Ellie.M. PLATINUM, Santa Paula, California
47 articles 1 photo 133 comments
i loved this can you look at mine.. Yesterday's tomorrow and impossible to answer are my favorites check them out and tell me how you like them :)

on Feb. 26 2010 at 10:32 am
blankpages12 BRONZE, Redding, Colorado
4 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes you put up walls not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to break them down."

this is so so...just you describe it so well.... i love how you took something so simple like cotton candy and turned it into well..a work of art

on Feb. 4 2010 at 1:22 pm
alayapoetgirl BRONZE, St. Louis, Missouri
4 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is hard; but it's harder if you're stupid. -John Wayne

I really love the detail of this poem....even though it's about comitting suicide, it gives the reader a soft...mellow setting, like it's title...Cotton Candy

on Jan. 25 2010 at 11:56 am
ReflectionsofYou GOLD, Mason, Tennessee
10 articles 0 photos 107 comments
this is cool:] I love cotten candy

kheart SILVER said...
on Jan. 13 2010 at 7:19 pm
kheart SILVER, Union Grove, Wisconsin
9 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Every second is countless. Every minute is different. When you came around." -kheart

Love it! Very good. please check out my poems and rate them. Thanks! Keep writing.

auna123 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 13 2010 at 3:09 pm
auna123 BRONZE, Bethel, Alaska
1 article 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten." B.F. skinner

omg i love cotton candy its so addicting great work keep it up

BlueEyes said...
on Dec. 8 2009 at 10:39 am
BlueEyes, Bremen, Alabama
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
Great work!

on Nov. 30 2009 at 11:56 am
MRS.ROCHE SILVER, Panama City, Florida
7 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
NEVER LEAVE THE ONE YOU LOVE FOR THE ONE YOU LUST BECAUSE THE OE YOU LUST WILL LEAVE YOU FOR THE ONE THEY LOVE

this was short but cute. i loved it and he cut right down to it... if you have time please go check out my poems


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