Cotton Candy MAG

October 25, 2008
By freedomfighter97 BRONZE, Lake Ann, Michigan
freedomfighter97 BRONZE, Lake Ann, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 11 comments

puffs of sweet fiberglass
dissolve into pink crystals
on the pinnacle of my tongue.

they fall like tickled icicles
puncturing the walls
of my abdomen.

still I consume
the addicting substance,
permitting my body
to slowly commit suicide.



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This article has 164 comments.


on Nov. 26 2011 at 4:50 pm
singinginthegardn GOLD, Cowell, Massachusetts
16 articles 2 photos 158 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anaïs Nin

This is fabulous...I love the "non-caps" and the stunning words...I have a feeling this isn't just about cotton candy...great metaphor ;)

Ella1 GOLD said...
on Nov. 26 2011 at 9:54 am
Ella1 GOLD,
14 articles 7 photos 137 comments
I love the imagery!

TaurusGal GOLD said...
on Nov. 4 2011 at 11:41 pm
TaurusGal GOLD, Hong Kong, Other
13 articles 25 photos 110 comments
Pure genius~!!!!!!!!!!!!

on Nov. 4 2011 at 12:19 pm
purplebutterfly SILVER, Sweet Home, Oregon
8 articles 0 photos 11 comments
i love this poem and it also talks about how cotton candy is like a slow suicide and the way you put or discribe your imagery is amazing! keep up the great work!

on Nov. 4 2011 at 8:41 am
AmayaSakaruta, Borger, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
From out of the night that covers me, black as the pit from pole to pole, i thank whatever gods may be, for my unconquerable soul. -William Earnest Henley
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. -the Bible

also...SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION! please check out some of my work? thank u

on Nov. 4 2011 at 8:41 am
AmayaSakaruta, Borger, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
From out of the night that covers me, black as the pit from pole to pole, i thank whatever gods may be, for my unconquerable soul. -William Earnest Henley
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. -the Bible

i love how descriptive you are about something so simple that people take for granted. that's what i think a really good writer does, look at something pretty common and say it in a way that makes people think, man, i ne ver thought about it like that before :D

on Oct. 21 2011 at 8:34 pm
taylor.nichole SILVER, Bakersfield, California
9 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
I restore myself when I'm alone -Maralin Monroe
iv'e always been misrepresented. You know, I could dress in a clown costume and laugh with the happy people but they'd still say i'm a dark personality. - Tim Burton

love the words you used:)

on Oct. 13 2011 at 8:46 pm
BeautysBeast GOLD, Okinawa, Other
11 articles 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
BETTER TO BE YOURSELF AND BE NOBODY THAN BE SOMEONE ELSE AND SOMEBODY ;)

greta poem love the description :)

on Oct. 13 2011 at 7:08 pm
Greenpaw BRONZE, Billerica, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 11 comments
Great vocabulary, very well done. If anyone has time can they give feedback on my poetry?

on Oct. 13 2011 at 3:54 pm
RosePetal519 BRONZE, Perrysburg, Ohio
3 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Carpe Diem" (Seize the Day)

Wow super intense! Great use of vocabulary and truly original!

on Sep. 21 2011 at 12:15 pm
WeAllBurn PLATINUM, Vermilion, Ohio
24 articles 0 photos 71 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." ~Mahatma Gandhi

amazing. (:

on Sep. 21 2011 at 9:29 am
weitlaufsummer SILVER, Centerville, Iowa
6 articles 3 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"a hug is like a boomerang, you get it back right away".

this is really decriptive and it changes your thoughts on cotton candy

Skillz said...
on Sep. 13 2011 at 11:06 am
Skillz, Carollton, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments
I loved how you explained that cotton candy was addictive.

on Sep. 9 2011 at 12:34 pm
nathanielmcd BRONZE, Punta Gorda, Florida
4 articles 0 photos 6 comments
Wow, that makes a lot more sense, thank you for the clarification.

on Aug. 31 2011 at 2:05 pm
Scott_Pilgrim331, Farmers Branch, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments
This really dipicts what happens to one, when doing drugs.

r1chard said...
on Aug. 31 2011 at 1:29 pm
r1chard, Carrollton, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Tupac "wars come and go but my soldiers they stay eternal"

I like how you used cotton candy as a symbol for drugs; it is true that for many people in this word drugs are like cotton candy sweet good and makes them feel good. I like how you said do it can be deadly in different ways although it is a simple necessity to sum.

TheCreator said...
on Aug. 31 2011 at 12:28 pm
TheCreator, Dallas, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
I liked how it talked about how it feels when cotton candy enters your mouth and loving while knowing that it is unhealthy.

on Aug. 31 2011 at 9:13 am
freedomfighter97 BRONZE, Lake Ann, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 11 comments
The cotton candy is a symbol of our current-day issue with our junk food consumption.  I mainly wrote this as an ode to my brother, who has Type 1 Diabetes.  We were at a baseball game and my mother reminded him that eating cotton candy will kill him if he eats too much.  It's true of all of us, though.

on Aug. 30 2011 at 9:28 pm
AbstractFragment GOLD, Dalmatia,, Pennsylvania
18 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You know what it feels like when all your teeth are falling out really slowly and you don't realize and then you notice that, well, they're really far apart. And then one day... you don't have any teeth anymore." - Where the Wild Things Are

I enjoyed this and I like what this says to me. I like this whole "slowly comitting suicide theme" and the kind of evocative image of a body breaking down which are themes I am personally familiar with in my own writing. For being so short this is imagery heaven.

on Aug. 30 2011 at 1:50 pm
LittleMissSunshine08_11 SILVER, Boston, Massachusetts
9 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. ~Norm Papernick

Wow! People usually think of cotton candy as something sweet, or weak, even... I love how this poem explores the dark side of something so innocent!


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