Good Morning | Teen Ink

Good Morning

April 20, 2013
By Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou


There is something crisp
about this morning
with an azure
clouded-dappled sky
and a honeyed haze.

There is something sweet
about this morning:
the vase of violet orchids
that sits on our nightstand
are fresh and fragrant as
the day last week
when you brought them home
coming back from work.

There is something provocative
about this morning
with the only thing covering
our bodies
are these thin
cool cotton sheets so sheer
that the outlines
of both you and me
must be visible:
our warmth trapped beneath.
You roll over,
thinking I’m asleep,
and get out of bed
without bothering to put on your crumpled clothes,
lying on the floor next to mine,
or without covering your torso
with some sheets.
You bare backside recedes
from my view
as you go out to the kitchen
to brew our coffee.

There is something euphonic
about this morning,
as you get back in bed,
and your voice
is the first sound
to bid me, “Good morning,”
while our steaming coffee
brews in the background,
its guttural song
making it all the way
into our bedroom.
There is something promising
about this morning
with your smile greeting me,
your cheeks dimpling,
letting me know
that I still have
one more day
with you
today.


The author's comments:
I began to develop the idea of this poem in a afternoon. But I decided to wait until the nest morning to write in order for it to have a raw feeling. And this was what I came up with. I have to give MyApocolyptic for being some inspiration for me. Hope you all enjoy.

Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 156 comments.


Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 22 2013 at 6:26 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

I would appreciate your feedback on anything anything anything I've writtern. I have so much that needs to be critiqued. I want people who know what they're talking about to comment on them. I would love that. I won't be crushed if you're harsh. This poem is free verse. I know I could add some rhythm to it. But I wrote this so people could read till they see punctuation not just at the end of the line. Maybe that's why it seem jagged. And I won't forget to consider my options. Thank you for pointing them out. I guess I don't believe in myself enough. 

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 22 2013 at 6:22 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

I don't mind constructive feedback. I welcome it. And ask for it. People who can't handle it aren't true writers. By the way, Teenink does mess up the formats most of the time. But this piece if free verse. So it has no rhythm. The way you read this one—most of my free verse—is reading it until you see the punctuation. Although, I have piece with no punctuation which can be tricky. But thank you for pointing it out. You can read whatever captures your attention. I've much for anyone to read and comment. 

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 22 2013 at 6:00 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece. 

on Jul. 22 2013 at 5:41 pm
dbk1098 PLATINUM, Rockville, Maryland
20 articles 0 photos 41 comments
This is incredible!!!! Absolutely wonderful description!! Keep it up! You are sooooo talented!

on Jul. 19 2013 at 8:25 pm
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard

Haha, I've noticed that! I tried to give someone else constructive feedback about their work and they didn't seem to take it very well. I see what you mean about the coffee and it's a very minor thing to begin with anyway so it was just basically a style preference of mine. One more thing since you clearly can appreciate constructive criticism. I kind of ignored this because I enjoyed it but I was wondering about the format of the poem. I know teen ink sometimes has trouble breaking up lines so I don't know if this is exactly how it should be read. Maybe it should be rewritten to fit a certain, I don't know, syllable count or something. I'm honestly not the best judge of poetry but it is just something to consider. Yes, it does seem to be common courtesy to reciprocate the commenting but I have noticed that is not always the occurence. Absolutely no problem. I may look at some other pieces of yours but I have been a bit busy lately so I don't want to promise anything. If I can, is there anything you have written that hasn't recieved much feedback?

raeee GOLD said...
on Jul. 19 2013 at 6:08 pm
raeee GOLD, Walla Walla, Georgia
15 articles 3 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Would she hear me if I called her name? Would she hold me if she knew my shame? Would she even love me if I was to blame?" -Favourite poem ever♥

Ha. You should think more about your horizons, love. You have so much potential. Don't ever forget that, okay? And as far as structure goes, well... It just seems to be a bit.. Jagged in the beginning... I can't exactly describe it. And shucks, I don't give criticism because I'm fairly harsh if I don't like something. But, I'll give you all the criticism you ask for! Love you too, darling! ;)

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 19 2013 at 6:02 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

I appreciate your feedback, Raee. Seriously do more. You know what you're talking about unlike most people here. what exactly with the structure should I tweak? And a song writer? Wow, I've never really gave that a thought. Thanks, darling. Love ya!

raeee GOLD said...
on Jul. 19 2013 at 5:59 pm
raeee GOLD, Walla Walla, Georgia
15 articles 3 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Would she hear me if I called her name? Would she hold me if she knew my shame? Would she even love me if I was to blame?" -Favourite poem ever♥

I found this poem to be very... intriguing. The imagery you put in the lay-out of it is simply marvelous, and well-done. I love the way it's almost as if I can see it. You might need to work on structure, however. Though it flows, it seems to need a bit of tweaking here and there. Fantastic poem, Mckay darling. And I agree with Rocky, you definitely have potential of being a song-writer. (:

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 19 2013 at 5:52 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

A song writer, really? I'd never thought of that before. Thank you, Rocky! I'll be considering my future a little more now. 

on Jul. 19 2013 at 5:49 pm
rockyyyyyyyyy SILVER, Lawrenceville, Georgia
9 articles 0 photos 61 comments

Favorite Quote:
dont let people drive u crazy if you know its in walking distance

Its interesting, it seems like you could be more of a song writer  with this poem, but good none-the-less

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 19 2013 at 2:23 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Constructive feedback: haven't had that in forever. THANK YOU! Thank you for the suggestions also. Most people are too scared to suggest. Thank you for not being that person or part of that group. I realized I made some grammatical errors here and there. Fortunately, it worked out and didn't cease the editors from loving it. THANK YOU, EDITORS. The cloud part, I see your point there. It might sound smoother than "clouded". The coffee part, I'm not sure. Only because, I mentioned it. And, as a coffee person, I wanted people to hear the music of coffee brewing in the backgrounded. Though, I see how it can become redundant. And thank you for wanting this poem to become part of the magazine someday. I hope so too! I appreciate it. And I will definitely read and comment on your poem. (When people ask for feedback, it's only fair to return the favor. In my feedback forum, people always ask, but some don't give. Which can become annoying. But as you probably can see I'm not "suffering" from a lack of comments and feedback.) ^U^ But once again, I appreciate your feedback. Means a lot to me. 

on Jul. 18 2013 at 11:58 pm
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard

I adore this! It may not be perfect grammatically bit I love the imager it provokes. It tastes like morning. It is truly beautiful. I think clouded should be cloud, sits should be sit, maybe change the second coffee brews to something else since you already said it. I hope this masterpiece greets the pages of the magazine soon. Good luck! Oh and if you wouldn't mind could you take a look at my piece 'The Peak.' Thank you for offering to give feedback in return, by the way.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 16 2013 at 2:39 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^U^

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 16 2013 at 2:38 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Thanks. I hope it does.

on Jul. 16 2013 at 2:29 pm
bulby545 SILVER, Butternut, Wisconsin
8 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
when life gives you lemons you make apple juice

i hope this one makes it in  

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 8 2013 at 5:03 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

THANK YOU FOR BEING MY 100TH COMMENT FOR THIS POEM! Thank you so much. I appreciate your feedback. And I'm happy you love it. You made my day. 

on Jul. 8 2013 at 4:59 pm
DarknessHasFallen GOLD, Broomfield, Colorado
12 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm fine. I just feel like I'm shattered into hundred of little shards of glass and I'm going to hurt everybody who loves me.

Beautiful, peaceful and i loved it.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 8 2013 at 4:58 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

thanks, black_angel. 

on Jul. 8 2013 at 4:57 pm
DarknessHasFallen GOLD, Broomfield, Colorado
12 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm fine. I just feel like I'm shattered into hundred of little shards of glass and I'm going to hurt everybody who loves me.

beautiful and very descriptive...i love it.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jun. 11 2013 at 3:20 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Ok. I'll try to remember that. Btw, was that to me or Hazel?